Monday, January 29, 2007

The Quirk Factor

It may come as no surprise to you, but there is a certain quirk factor that permeates through the very recesses of my existence from the items I create to the daily media medly I partake in. Fortunately last weekend my media medly consisted of these two delightfully quirky examples of cinema...

Broken Flowers...



Written and directed by a master of contemporary quirk, Jim Jarmusch, and starring Bill Murray, this is a lovely little comedic tale of loves lost, expectations thwarted and realizations made, all from behind the wheel of a rented Ford Taurus.

Here's the synopsis I found on imdb:

"The resolutely single Don Johnson has just been dumped by his latest lover, Sherry. Don resigns himself to being alone yet again and left to his own devices. Instead, he is compelled to reflect on his past when he receives by mail a mysterious pink letter. It is from an anonymous former lover and informs him that he has a 19-year-old son who may now be looking for his father. Don is urged to investigate this "mystery" by his closest friend and neighbor, Winston,
an amateur sleuth and family man. Hesitant to travel at all, Don nonetheless embarks on a cross-country trek in search of clues from four former flames. Unannounced visits to each of these unique women hold new surprises for Don as he haphazardly confronts both his past and, consequently, his present."

Bill Murray is delightfully droll as the movie's main character, Don Johnston. Jeffrey Wright plays Murray's neighbor, Winston, who is equally amusing in his sheer oddity. Both characters are endearing portraits of American men from very different backgrounds who come together in a search for meaning amidst life's small moments. Moreover, the on-screen rapport between Murray and Wright is not only fascinating to watch, but their relationship truly drives the flick. Upon the film's conclusion, I was left with the overwhelming feeling that these guys have been a screen team for years and that, my friends, is a testament to the amazing depth and breadth of talent these two seasoned actors exhibit.

And let's not forget about the film's creator, Jim Jarmusch. First of all, you gotta love a guy who's been sportin' this do for a bazillion years...



In addition to his upswept locks, Jarmusch can always, always be counted upon to provide a film with an exquisitely twisted premise, intriguing characters and cinematic vistas that cut a cross-section through the human landscape.

More of my Murray faves:
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou;
Lost in Translation;
The Royal Tenenbaums;
Rushmore;
Groundhog Day;
What About Bob?; and
of course all those SNL classics...

More of my Wright faves:
Basquiat; and
Syriana.

More of my Jarmusch faves:
Night on Earth;
Mystery Train; and
one of the best guest appearances ever on a show that was SO wrongly cancelled, Fishing with John.

The quirkfest continued this weekend last with a screening of Little Miss Sunshine...




"Olive is a little girl with a dream: winning the Little Miss Sunshine contest. Her family wants her dream to come true, but they are so burdened with their own quirks, neuroses, and problems that they can barely make it through a day without some disaster befalling them. Olive's father Richard is a flop as a motivational speaker, and is barely on speaking terms with her mother. Her uncle Frank, a renowned Proust scholar, has attempted suicide following an
unsuccessful romance with a male graduate student. Her brother Dwayne, a fanatical follower of Nietzsche, has taken a vow of silence, which allows him to escape somewhat from the family whose very presence torments him. And Olive's grandfather is a ne'er-do-well with a drug habit, but at least he enthusiastically coaches Olive in her contest talent routine. Circumstances conspire to put the entire family on the road together with the goal of getting Olive to the Little Miss Sunshine contest in far off California."

Come on...any film that references Nietzsche, Proust and Rick James before its conclusion is alright in my book. Really though, if you haven't seen this film yet, you must. The cast is well chosen, the scenes are brilliant exhibitions of great writing combined with equally great acting and this film is fun-ny...yes, this flick is sure to provoke more than a few laughs from its audience.

Toni Collette was just brilliant as the flawed family matriarch. Greg Kinnear was imminently endearing in his consistent striving to ascend the mediocrity in which he finds himself using his self-devised 9 step methodology. Steve Carrell? Can you say gay, suicidal, Proust scholar? 'Nuff said. Alan Arkin had me in side-splitting fits of glee, while Paul Dano and Abigail Breslin gave performances assuring them many a future cinematic gig.

Jeez, have you seen this film yet?

More of my faves by this star-studded cast:
Definitely check out Collette in Muriel's Wedding, The Sixth Sense and About a Boy;
Kinnear in Nurse Betty, As Good as It Gets and Mystery Men (it doesn't get much quirkier than this film);
who doesn't love Carrell in The Office; and
Arkin parts too numerous to detail, check this list.

Any quirk factor movies you'd think I would like? Let me know in my comments!

Happy Monday everyone!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Chicken Beanie Pattern



Chicken Beanie pattern is available now on my sidebar!

I'm on a roll folks. In addition to the "chapeaux du poultry" I am also working on three patterns for three separate publications, which will be available at your local newsstand in the next couple of months. Wooo hooo!

Thanks to all of you for your endless support, warm comments and amazing camaraderie! Smoochies all around!!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Weirdness Within

Weird? Moi? No! Well, yeah, I admit it. Here's a meme to celebrate the weirdness that is me.

Tagged by my girl ova at Finny Knits...

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. My favorite breakfast food is soup. I know, how weird is that? Anyway, upon dumping off my collateral crap on my desk at the Cube Farm during the good ole work week, I head on over to the market (adjacent to Cube Farm HQ) to partake in their selection of freshly concocted soup du jour. Nothing like sitting at one's desk in the a.m., partaking in simmering soupdom, while meeting comments from co-workers such as, "What the hell are you eating?"

2. I must finish reading a book before returning it to the bookshelf (even if I hate it) AND I will read only one book at a time (adding to my misery if the book sucks). Did I mention the fact that I excel at self-torture? Mind you, I do not follow these same "operating guidelines" when viewing a film, television program or listening to music. If a film, boob tube episode or tune doesn't appeal to me, I play switcheroo with the remote or turn said media output unit off without a care in the world. If I return an unfinished book back to it's shelf, I feel completely and utterly defeated.

3. I make lists. For pretty much everything. I know, it's crazy and I'm sure there is a diagnosis for this condition in the DSM IV, but it makes me happy to be a maker of lists nonetheless.

4. I love shoes. No, really. I *LOVE* them. This December last when I was...ahem...Christmas shopping for my loved ones, I got a little "sidetracked" and purchased five pairs of boots for myself in the span of an hour. As if this weren't proof enough of my devotion, some time ago I actually made the following statement to a few of my girlfriends when we were out for an evening on the town, "Shoes...are very, very important to me." Okay, tequila contributed heavily to that statement, but the girls will not let me live that one down. Sheesh.

Wow, she's shallow and crazy! How attractive! Moving. Right. Along.

5. If I find a mistake in my crocheting/knitting, I will rip back to the flaw and fix it no matter how far back the mishap happens to be...every, single, time. Yes, it can be maddening (especially when I have to frog lots and lots of rows or rounds), but for me, it is more maddening to know that my garment, object, doohickey has a known flaw that could have been repaired.

6. I'm a huge sci fi/fantasy dork. I love this genre. Love the books. Love the movies. Love the Sci Fi Channel. Basically I will read or watch anything with a spaceship or a wizard in it.

Well, if I don't lose readers with my answers to this meme, I don't know what I'll have to do drive you guys away. LOL I'm not tagging anyone, but I encourage you all to share your weirdness with the rest of us. Should you choose to share your weird self, please let me know!

Happy Monday peeps!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Popular Culture on a Wing

I believe that this next statement goes without saying, as they say...

My creations are most definitely influenced by American popular culture.

Yep, from our junk food infested shores to our reality TV riddled screens, from our darkened movie theatres awash in cinematic glow to our bazillion song enabled iPods accompanying us to and fro, massive media overload at every turn, strip malls galore, actors turned politicos, OC chicks and oh so much more! This place is an artist's sensory playground I tell you. It should be explored, adored, feared and indulged, held at arms length and viewed under a microscope.

As both a keen observer and participant in the pop culture sandbox, I find that I have a difficult time slowing down the ideas proffered from the din. Now, some of those conceptions have a limited self life. Others however, have staying power. Yep, those veterans of my cerebrum are the golden nuggets that I tend to make corporeal in all of their brilliant technicolor, three-dimensional glory.

One such stubborn squatter in my grey matter urged me to make it a reality after recently having screened one of my all-time favorite films by one of my all-time favorite filmmakers. I mean come on! How could I not pay homage to a film filled to the, um, gizzard with voracious winged things flying through plate glass windows, plucking the eyes from unsuspecting townspeople and well, just generally terrorizing a sleepy little hamlet located on the north coast of my beloved golden state. And let's not forget about the all-star cast! Hi Tippi, Rod and Suzanne! Oh, and that fashion era is one of my faves. Love Tippi's little green suit.

Yep, I've loved this film since I was a wee Linoleum (I know, I have a call into a local therapist, no worries) and have been making art inspired by this cinematic jewel for quite a while now...

Take this little illustration I created a few years ago as part of a larger narrative:



I like this piece, though it just doesn't compare with some of the 3D works I found in this tome (which I purchased upon first inspection at my local bookseller I might add):



After seeing the crazy pop-ups in this compendium I knew I needed to take my ideas off of the page and onto the street, so to speak. So, here's my newest tribute to the battle of the bird modeled by LittleLinoleum...



Using a combination of crochet and knit to create this ensemble, I also managed to make a serious dent in my acrylico stashio. In addition, this little diddy is quite versatile as those birdies have pins that erupt from their bellies enabling the wearer to customize the attack formations before sporting the look about town. Not bad eh?



I may be deluded, but I think Alfred would be proud.

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Obstacles of an Olfactory Nature

My present blogging continuum has be thwarted by obstacles of an olfactory nature.

A little background is in order. Beginning December last, I embarked on a series of biopsies and subsequent skin cancer surgeries led by my trusty dermatologist. No fun, I can assure you. Anyway, the latest blight upon my epidermis to be dislodged (last Thursday) happened to reside upon the side of my nose. Apparently it was much deeper than my physician originally thought because it took him an hour and a half to eradicate the nasty growth and sew up the opening with seven stitches. Yes, seven.

My poor bandaged schnoz:



Now, I'm a trooper when it comes to pain endurance. Really, I'm one tough chick. But I kid you not when I say the pain infecting my nose and adjacent cheek was pretty darn close to un-bear-a-ble. For several days I couldn't chew. I couldn't laugh. I couldn't lay down on that side when turning in for the evening. Hell, I couldn't even cry. The pain was just awful. But you know my friends, situations can always get worse. Oh yes. To top off an already miserable state of affairs, I came down with a cold just two days after my surgery! You know what's worse than incessantly blowing plentiful wads of boogers out of your nose? Incessantly blowing plentiful wads of boogers out of your nose WITH STITCHES EXTENDING THE ENTIRE WIDTH OF YOUR NOSE. Oh yeah, the fun never stops over here at ChezLinoleum. Sucks.

Needless to say I look like Jimmy Durante. Jimmy Durante with Frankenstein stitches and plentiful snot. I know, gross.

Despite my plight, I still managed to work up a hat, which I do plan on donning to my stitch removal appointment...



This Lil' Devil Hat should be a warning to my dermotologist. He'd better be on his best behavior when removing my stitches or I may have to force him to wear this hat during his next spot on the evening news! Muhahahaha!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Uncommon Threads - Airdate Info

One of the Monster Crochet episodes airs tomorrow on HGTV. If you've got cable, here's your chance to see me and my long lost pal Briana make crochet magic on the tube. I'm taping it, but I don't know if I can bear to watch it. Do me a favor? If I'm a terrible embarrassment to the craft world as a whole, just don't tell me.

Thanks for the airdate info Pam! Smoochies.

Here we go down the rabbit hole Bri...

Sunday, January 07, 2007

2007: A Year Of...

Reading for survival...

Oh yeah, some of my 2007 reads are sure to prepare me for disasters unforeseen. For example, what is one to do when attacked by zombies? Currently, I haven't the foggiest what measures to take to ensure my family's safety. So, this book will definitely come in handy...



Yes, this undead pocket bible covers everything from the history of the zombie problem to weapons and combat techniques (including close combat), creating an impenetrable fortress, as well as how to handle yourself when on the run and simultaneously being pursued by a legion of zombies. Good stuff I tell you.

Next I feel that I should read up on another potentially disastrous state of affairs...alien abduction.



Why not research a few accounts of probing nethers before devising my defensive strategy. Knowledge is power people.

Oh, and for any other dangerous situation I may find myself enmeshed in the coming year, I've purchased this handy dandy calendar:



Find yourself in a sword fight and you can't quite remember the best way to hold your sharp piece o' metal? Have no fear! Just check out this Monday's calendar page for details! Locked in the trunk of a car and can't seem to bust out of the darn thing? This calendar's got your escape technique covered. Sheer genius friends.

Getting in touch with my survivalist self isn't all I have in store for 2007. Nosiree!

Conjuring cuisine each and every Sunday...

Oh yea, oh yea...let's here it for LadyLinoleum's consistent return to the kitchen! Yep, last Domingo I rustled up some beef ale stew with buttermilk dumplings and it was nothing short of divine!

Today I broke out the Bittman and created a pile of fluffy buttermilk waffles for breakfast.



Followed that up with a huge steaming pot of split pea soup for lunch. Yu-um!

I love to cook peeps and I pledge to pull on my oven mitts with much regularity in '07. Oh, and I hereby do also promise to share my culinary adventures with you all!

Are partially digested waffles detectable via anal probe? Hey, I'm just asking.

Boldly going where other crocheters/knitters have not gone before...

Um yeah. And you thought the meat crochet was weird? Just. You. Wait.

Hey, waffles would look mighty good in wool, don't cha think?

Publish or perish...

I've been delighted with my successful foray into the crafty publishing world. However, I need to finish my proposal for a 100% percent Monster Crochet pattern extravaganza. I'm getting there. Just need to push forward full throttle. Now accepting positive vibes...

Healthy happiness...

The last several months I've struggled with myriad health issues. It's like I'm falling apart people! Anyway, I hope and pray that 2007 is the year that I become healthy again. I know that everybody and their mother states something similar at the onset of a new year, but peeps I mean it. I want to be here for years to come churning out the crazy junk I create, blogging to my heart's content and hanging out with my friends on the world wide web!

Here's to a wonderful and productive 2007 for all of us filled with laughter, love, creativity and camaraderie! Smoochies all around!!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Inebriated Bunny Hat

How did your Lady of the Linoleum spend her New Year's Eve?

Crocheting...oh, and drinking. The combination of the two is directly responsible for the creation of these hats...

In nearly natural and modeled by the hubster...



In a fuzzy pimped out blue/purple colorway...



You'll be happy to learn that I was not so, well, trashed, that I neglected to document the pattern.

So folks, here's the first freebie of 2007! Happy New Year and enjoy!

Inebriated Bunny Hat


Materials
  • Approximately 200 yds of bulky weight yarn (the nearly natural bun hat was made with 3 1/4 balls of Lion Brand Landscapes in Spring Desert colorway)
  • US N hook
  • Tapestry needle

Abbreviations
  • ch - chain
  • rnd - round
  • rnds - rounds
  • sc - single crochet
  • sl st - slip stitch
  • st - stitch
  • sts - stitches
  • tog - together

Gauge
10 sc x 12 r = 4"

Directions
*Pattern is worked in the round. Each rnd begins with a ch 1 and ends with a sl st in the beginning sc to join rnd.

Hat body
Rnd 1 - ch 2, 8 sc in second ch from hook, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 2 - ch 1, 2 sc in every st, sl st in first sc to join rnd (16 sts total)
Rnd 3 - ch 1, (1 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (24 sts total)
Rnd 4 - ch 1, (2 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (32 sts total)
* Make ear openings.
Rnd 5 - ch 1, 6 sc, ch 4 and skip 4 sc in rnd 4 below, 12 sc, ch 4 and skip 4 sc in rnd 4 below, 6 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd (32 sts total)
*Continue with hat body.
Rnd 6 - ch 1, (3 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (40 sts total)
Rnds 7 and 8 - ch 1, 40 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 9 - ch 1, (9 sc, 2 sc next st) 4 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (44 sts total)
Rnds 10 thru 18 - ch 1, 44 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Fasten off after completion of Rnd 18

Ear (Make 2)
Rnd 1 - attach at one of the ear openings and sc 10 around opening, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 2 - ch 1, 10 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 3 - ch 1, (4 sc, 2 sc next st) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (12 sts total)
Rnd 4 - ch 1, 12 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 5 - ch 1, (5 sc, 2 sc next st) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (14 sts total)
Rnd 6 - ch 1, 14 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 7 - ch 1, (6 sc, 2 sc next st) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (16 sts total)
Rnds 8 and 9 - ch 1, 16 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 10 - ch 1, (7 sc, 2 sc next st) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (18 sts total)
Rnds 11 thru 20 - ch 1, 18 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 21 - ch 1, (7 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (16 sts total)
Rnds 22 and 23 - ch 1, 16 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 24 - ch 1, (6 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (14 sts total)
Rnd 25 - ch 1, 14 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 26 - ch 1, (5 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (12 sts total)
Rnd 27 - ch 1, 12 sc, sl st in first sc to join rnd
Rnd 28 - ch 1, (4 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (10 sts total)
Rnd 29 - ch 1, (3 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (8 sts total)
Rnd 30 - ch 1, (2 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (6 sts total)
Rnd 31 - ch 1, (1 sc, sc next 2 sts tog) 2 times, sl st in first sc to join rnd (4 sts total)
Fasten off with enough yarn to close opening.

Finishing
Weave in ends.

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Long Overdue 411

Sorry for lapse between posts folks. As you all know, this time of year is filled with much activity. I literally have had zero time to sit before my Blogger Dashboard and compose a post. I haven't even had much time to crochet or knit, which needless to say drives me batty. Anyhoo, I'm anxious to get back on track with both posting and feeling up my yarn.

I do have FO's however! I've been slowly (can you say snail's pace?) finishing objects amidst the holiday hub-bub. The first of which happens to be Cleaves. I love the way this duo-sleeved diddy worked up in this spicy pumpkin-y hue.



Next up, I've made yet another triangle. This time however, I experimented a bit by elongating each of the sides. I like the overall shape and will work it into my repertoire going forward. Oh, and yes, that is acrylic yarn. Hey, wash and wear in not a bad thing.





My little bird pin works perfectly with this piece (more on the crocheted bird phenomena in a future post).

Finally, because I know everyone will be wearing these next year...



Gollum Hat is now pattern tested and will be published in January I believe. I'll find out the details and pass them along to you all as soon as I'm in the know.

Now, I'm ashamed to say that I still haven't finished the O'Lantern dudes. Don't worry though, you should see them sporting their new looks before Halloween '07. I know, I know! I've been busy people. Sheesh.

I hope everyone had a lovely holiday! Here's to a wonderfully productive and prosperous '07!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Fanosophy

“You see, that’s why I like Nascar. You either go forward or you crash. You don’t go backward.”

- Anonymous Raider Fan

As I sat perched in my nose-bleeder seat awash in the Oakland winter sun at the Raiders v. Rams game this Sunday last, I was provoked into a serious session of people watching due solely to my immense boredom with the less than mediocre game waaay down below on the McAfee Coliseum’s field. However, boredom is easily alleviated by turning one’s attention to the people of the Raider Nation for entertainment. You just gotta love Raider fans after all. They are diehard if nothing else, boisterous, spirited, a little bit crude, lively, loyal and sometimes rude, but if it’s people watching you’re after, these peeps never disappoint. I mean, in addition to the characteristics I listed above, the fanship, as a whole, is also peppered with many a black and silver donning proletariat poet, hence the quote above.

Sitting high (and I mean really high) in the stands, inbetween sips of my amber brew, I scribbled bits and pieces of the conversational din I’d overheard around me. The hubs and I were chuckling at the sheer revelry apparent in the various tid bits of verbiage we were able to catch. Even despite yet another devastating blow to their beloved team’s standings, the people of the Raider Nation were not about to let another impending loss ruin their good time. They cheered hard, toasted often and mused about the plethora of positive possibilities sure to present themselves to their team next season, all the time myriad “colorful” expressions in use emphasizing a shared bliss.

Largely ignoring the massacre on the field below, I also began to reflect on the oh-so-wise quote kicking off this post made from one in the crowd. So simple, yet so true. We are constantly marching forward. We all are subject to upsets, obstacles, crashes if you will, and no, we cannot go back. For me, there is such resonance in that statement. Since the death of my father a decade ago I’ve struggled to navigate about a family structure that had been completely transformed by that event. A painful era riddled with anger, denial, discovery, acceptance and reorganization, for lack of a better word, that I feel as if I’m finally emerging from. I don’t know what lies ahead, but I do know that I am open to putting foot to pavement and seeing where my path unfolds. I acknowledge and accept the past. Hell, hopefully I’ve gained a little insight and even, perhaps, a bit of wisdom learned from the events leading up to the here and now that will aid me in my journey ahead. I’m ready now for whatever the future holds.

Who knew that an afternoon at a football game could hold so much depth?

It must be true. I guess real men and women do wear black...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Woohoo!


Have you seen the Spring '07 issue of Knitscene mag?

How about the December issue of Nickelodeon mag?

Well, there's more than just pretty spring knit/crochet patterns and the pig of the moment to be had amidst the pages of these periodicals. Yep, there are turkeys and tiny hats too!

Wanna make this?

Then you'll definitely need to pick up a copy of Knitscene! The hat accessory patterns are offered as freebies on the website. Perty darn cool, eh? Now, I expect all of you to be sporting these little diddies atop your heads this spring. So you'd better git to hookin'!

Nick mag doesn't have the pattern for Turkeyzilla The Tote Bag, but if you ever feel the need to crochet poultry, you can always get the pattern here.

Can I tell you how freakin' cool it is to walk into Borders and see my stuff plastered across the pages of these pulps??? Doing my happy dance! And no, my happy dance will never be found on youtube...

Monday, December 11, 2006

Making Merriment

City sidewalks
Busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air
There's a feeling
of Christmas
Children laughing
People passing
Meeting smile after smile
and on every street corner you'll hear

Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city…

Ah yes, ‘tis the season! This weekend past, ChezLinoleum was in full-holiday-swing-mode, which meant lots of decorating, driving to and fro, and of course much eating, drinking and making merriment also occurred.

First and foremost, Operation Tree Acquisition was in order. Sure, I, like many good American consumers, own an artificial tree. Hell, I own three! For me, childhood Christmas memories always include visions of my dad pulling down dusty tree and ornament boxes from the garage eaves, mom erecting said ornamental plastic wonder in one corner of the family room, bending the wire branches to and fro in an effort to achieve maximum straightness, dad, then having played his annual pivotal role in Operation Tree Acquisition, deciding to retire for the evening to read, write or work on his plans for world domination, my sister Stephanie and I jumping around in a sugar-addled haze, attempting to open the ornament boxes only to be told to sit down, remain calm and ornaments would be handed to us in an orderly fashion by the Queen of Clean and Organization, otherwise known as Mom.

Ahhh, those were the days!

I, being my mother’s daughter, happily continued with the anal-retentive plastic brush tradition each and every Christmas until I hooked up with the man in my life. Yep, the hubby did not abide my tradition of an oh so neat and natty plastic Christmas. Nope, HIS childhood memories of annual Operation Tree Acquisition consisted of actually buying a tree, a previously live, but just recently mowed down arbor from some lot near his parents’ home. Anyway, when we hooked up, my x-mas shrubbery de plastique was resigned to its cardboard tomb in favor of the hacked from its roots, mass needle dropping, grown in a tree farm variety. I still, however, manage to erect my little silver Christmas shrub next to the television each and every year. Hey, you can’t find metallic silver trees in nature! I have no choice…

At any rate, this year's Operation Tree Acquisition took place at the tree auction off Alameda Street, a hop, skip and a jump from Olvera Street and Union Station in good ole Downtown Los Angeles. However, before heavy duty auction participation could ensue, the Linoleums were in need of sustenance. This we found at one of my all time favorite LA eateries, Philipe’s! Home of the French dipped sandwich and 50 cent iced teas!

Landmarks can be hard to come by in this town...



Seriously, if you live in the Los Angeles area and have yet to eat at Philipe’s, well you are missing out big time! I always, always order the lamb dip, potato salad or coleslaw, depending upon my mood, and of course and an iced tea. Yum!

With bellies full, the hubs, offspring and I were ready to wheel and deal at the tree auction. Turns out all the cheapskates were present last Saturday evening. Bids were unbelievably low and we drove out of there with a 7 ½ footer for an amazing $36. Not bad.

Let the games begin...

Sold (to someone else)!

Here's our tree getting its water bowl and wooden stand...



The offspring and I decorated our acquired bush (after vacuuming up a bazillion stray needles) and surrounding abode Sunday morn. The hubs had to go into work so it was just mom/daughter decorating duo thang. We managed to transform our domicile into a holiday wonderland within a few hours. When finished it was time for us to get spiffed up in anticipation of one of our favorite annual holiday music traditions…Tuba Christmas!

Yes, I used the words tuba and Christmas together in one phrase.

Seriously, this is the best “get into the holiday spirit” type of event around! 200 tubas playing Christmas carols (and a couple of Tuba Chanukah tunes as well) accompanied by the audience in a sing-a-long!

It’s amazing! Really. I’ll bet, you can catch a version of Tuba Christmas in a city near you too…I highly recommend it. Not to be missed! Oh by the way, cosmopolitans are a good Tuba Christmas aperitif just in case you were wondering. I believe one sings a bit louder when windpipes are warmed with a bit of vodka.

I will tell you all that prior to last weekend’s festivities, I was feeling a little Scrooge-esque. It’s stunning what a little greenery, some holiday finery, a few seasonal tunes and camaraderie with family and friends can do to change my outlook. Oh, and the vodka didn’t hurt either....

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Out with the old and in with the new!

As I get older, I find that I have decreasing tolerance levels for things high maintenance, aside from myself that is...

With this said I've been on a mission to eradicate drama from my life and after much deliberation surrounding a certain MAJOR aspect of my existence, I decided that I could take no more! It was time for a break. Time to bid fond farewell to a relationship that has sustained more than two decades. Yes folks, it's time for a change that will impact my life's current path.

I'm not proud of how I initiated such a change. I mean, we'd been sneaking around for quite a while. I'd go to our meeting place to cop a feel and push a few buttons. Later in the evening I'd return home and try to act like there was nothing amiss. Everything's just peachy keen...Not.

Well, a week ago Friday I decided that I had to come clean. No more dangerous liaisons. Deception is not good for the complexion after all. So, I made it official, opting for a quickie divorce while simultaneously jumping headlong into a openly torrid affair. C'mon, you only live once right?

Wave bye bye to the jilted!

Bid hiya to my new love...

Can you say 17 inches of pure unadulterated bliss???

Okay, I need to chill.

Anyway, so far so good. Aside from the fact that eventually I'm going to have to purchase a bazillion dollars worth of imaging software, I'm cool with the change. For now, I am going to limp along with my existing software packages. Anyone running Parallels? Do you like it?

And while we're talking software, I'm a longtime Corel Draw Suite user as well as an adept Adobe Photoshop user. I was checking out Corel Painter and was wondering if anyone out there is using it and likes it. Any feedback you can provide is welcome as I've been very intrigued with that package for a while now too, but have yet to take the plunge.

Time to go rev up my silver love machine...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

My Precious...

Nuthin' says keep yer head warm during the holidays like a crocheted wool balding toupee with ears and eyes...



Just look at that likeness...



I know, stunning, is it not?

C'mon, sure Yoda hats are groovy, but I don't think anyone's got one of these! Then again, I don't know that anyone would want one of these either. Okay, so my style is a bit, um, unique. Whatever. At least I've got appropriate apparel for this event.

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Making Memories with Mini Martha

When I look into my daughter's eyes and see the brilliant sparks of creativity pulsating just beneath the surface of those amber pools I am simultaneously awed, inspired, energized and supremely proud. The girl is a powerhouse. She makes art and craft way beyond the scope of her mere thirteen years on the planet (she's also an intelligent, witty and comedic gal to boot) and I'm not just saying this because she is my progeny. Nope. She is truly gifted and full of spirit.

That's my girl...



She's also unstoppable. Case in point...the child was suffering from a pretty nasty cold the entire holiday weekend, but still managed to craft up a trio of three foot Christmas trees (all lighted I might add)...









A smashing wool felt holiday wreath....



Begin a granny square blanket...



And bake batches of cookies! Sorry, no pics. We devoured the luscious rounds of chocolate confection before I could get a shot.

Anyway, the kid does me proud and aside from the usual tween angst every now and again, she's fun to be around. Our time together is often spent engaged in conversation ranging from the not so deep, edge of adolescence type of fare to the exceedingly murky, meaning of life type of contemplations. Our little mom/daughter duo can also be seen conjuring creative cuisine, consuming ginormous bowls of popped corn while watching a bit of entertainment from our revolving supply of red envelopes, speeding about town from one crafty establishment to another procuring supplies for our various artful endeavors and of course making multitudes of crazy creations. She's a gem and I cherish our time together immensely.

I'd like to say that she's just like me (giving myself the ultimate compliment), but truly she's so much more. My daughter radiates light from within. Her heart is full of love and compassion, her mind is ripe with incredible ideas, her sense of humor is an unceasing delight and her laughter is truly infectious. For me she is a wonder to behold and when I'm feeling blue, one glance at the first photo above brings and instant smile to my forlorn soul.

And heck, there's nothing better than handcrafted holidays and memories made with the ones you love! So, in this hectic season of stress, myriad engagements and preparations galore, take a few moments and spend some time making holiday memories with someone you adore.

Happy Handcrafted Holidays Everyone!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

FINALLY...



In honor of its debut in December's issue of Nickelodeon Magazine, Turkeyzilla The Tote Bag and Drumstick Coin Purse patterns are now available for sale! I know, I took forever to write these up...Anyway, you can get 'em on my sidebar or on my site.

Hope everyone had a lovely holiday! I've got lots to share with you all!

Monday, November 20, 2006

New Acquisitions

Cube Farm = Cash Flow

Cash Flow = The Ability To Purchase Mass Quantities of Bound Glory Whenever I Feel The Hankering

Please put emphasis on the term mass quantities, as I left Border's with plentiful bounty a week ago last. Hey, if I've got to do the Cube Time, I may as well reap some benefits from it. Well, other than shelter and food that is...

First and foremost, an exercise in idolatry:



I know, it's a sickness, but I just love this dude...right down to his chain-smoking, seal-eyeball-consuming, crusty center.

I'm a joiner...





Hey, I was feeling left out of the whole sock-making fanaticism thang! And anyway, I have enough sock yarn to knit AND crochet a pair a day for at least the next year.

Remember, Cube Farm = Cash Flow...

Next up is the latest acquisition to my knitted lace library. Yes, I collect books on lace knitting. I know, doesn't fit with my whole jolly roger penchant.

What can I say? I like to knit holes...



A very cool alternacraft (yes, I made that word up!) book brought to us by the queen of SuperNaturale...



Actually, I find that books of this type tend to be a bit on the cornball side, but not this one. Production values are very high-end and it's chock full of stuff I'm dying to make! A must have for anyone who likes to conjure craftiness.

And finally, a little crocheted eye candy...



Seriously, if I use this book for nothing more than a readable respite from my usual crochet regimen, it will have been money well spent.

Now, if I could just find another bookshelf that is both functional and stylish I'd be the happiest Cube Farmer on the planet. Okay, I agree, that's probably stretching it.

Friday, November 17, 2006

One Hell of a Tote Bag

...or the tote bag from hell, which is how I referred to it while working on the design.



I have to admit though, despite my pain, it turned out quite nice.

This is my first collaborative design effort. Bri worked up the concept drawing(s), which were subsequently sent off to Interweave.



Upon their acceptance of our design, we bought tons of this stuff and I got started on the crochet portion of the program, which included lots of acts of frogging, I might add, mostly due to the material I believe. What can I say? I like yarn folks. Alternative fibers are cool, but if you want to know the truth, I can take 'em or leave 'em.

At any rate, I think it looks perty in all of it's plastic-y ribbon-y glory.

Here's a detail shot of the apple pocket:



This lovely tote pattern will be available on your local bookseller's shelves sometime in '07. I'll update you when I have more info.

Please note that the Dem Bones Scarf Pattern is now available on my sidebar for purchase! Thanks for your patience!

I'm pattern-testing Turkeyzilla The Tote Bag right now. That pattern will be available in the next couple of weeks.

Have a great weekend everyone! Toodles!

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Linoleum On Gastronomy

I don't think that I've mentioned this before, but I've been nursing a strapping addiction to many a show on the Food Network and other related entertainment for some time now. There are a host of celebrity chefs that my trusty DVR makes sure I keep in touch with while doing my daily duty at the Cube Farm. Ahhh, I love technology! How else would I be able to pay homage to my foodie faves outside of their regularly scheduled broadcast?

I have to admit it though. I don't have much time for conjuring cuisine at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I love to play with food, but with my schedule I've been forced to pick a side. It's hooks and needles or my Cuisinart and Kitchenaid. Currently yarn seems to be the winner. So watching this chick throw pounds of chocolate into her saucier has got to sate my inner gastronome.

With all this said, let's put the old gear shift in reverse shall we? Yes, let's go back, back in time, to Saturday last. Yes, that would be the day that I unearthed ye olde blades and steel from their mothball mausoleum and spent the entire a.m., yes, yes, cutting and chopping and roasting and seasoning and pureeing and preparing for what has become one of two days of the year that I still always produce plentiful pabulum!

And this year, my plans for pabulum plenty do not include this substance...



What? No pumpkin you say? To which I say, yes, there will be pumpkin o' plenty come this T-Day, just not the orange porridge entombed in a can variety. Nope, last Saturday I bid fond farewell to the pumpkin pack of my past and set to making my own glorious pumpkin-y potage myself!



I know, impressive...

However, I will dispel your awe when I tell you that the process of creating your own cucurbitaceae chowder is a no brainer. Really!

You cut the pumpkin(s) into quarters. You clean off the pumpkin guts. Save the seeds! Good for roasting...mmmmm! You brush the quarters with melted butta. You place lubed (love you Alton!) and quartered squashies in a roasting pan. Cover the pan with foil. Roast in your oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit until soft. Let dead squashies cool. Scoop out the orange and delicious meat. Puree in batches in your food processor. Drain the glorious goop in a cheesecloth-lined sieve over a bowl in your fridge for about 8 hours. Discard liquid. Store your personal pumpkin pack in your icebox or freezer until you're ready to use!

And roast those darn seeds! They are super yummy and good for you too. I swish mine in a bit of olive oil and throw some Tony Chachere on 'em before committing them to the oven. Ooooooh! Ahhhhh!



Lest you think there was little yarn usage happening due to flagrant foodstuff preparation last weekend, feast yer eyes on the offspring and her newest creation...



How awesome is that little crocheted rectangular dude she worked up? She even made removable booties for the guy, instinctively knowing to turn the heel! The kid's a genius I tell you! And she was a very helpful sous chef during Operation Pumpkin.

Anyway, we rounded out the weekend filled with food and fiber fodder by attending the opening of the group show some of my work happens to be in. Here's the hubby whooping it up with a glass of wine and somehow donning another woman's shawl. Go figure...



He's not Alton nor Tony, but he looks quite fetching in pink!