Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Arriving yesterday at Holiday Meal Recovery Unit ("HMRC") Headquarters, Cranny Cranny Granny ("CCG") joins this elite force who are currently readying themselves for Operation Veggie Shield. This, their first mission since the force's inception is to infiltrate U.S. human homes this T-Day in order to rescue as many of their Produce-Based Counterparts as possible from death by side dish.
General Pilgrim Tater was ecstatic to see Major CCG as the HMRU was looking a bit lean for a mission sure to challenge each team member's strength of fiber. General Tater has much faith in The Three Legumes as they are as deadly in the field as they are the color green, but four Veggie Commandos a successful mission does not make. Even knowing he would have full VLA support both on the table and at back at the Operation's Command Center, General Tater was still a bit uneasy about the Operation's execution. That is until the arrival of Ms., ooops, I mean, Major Canny Cranny Granny.
Major CCG is a master military strategist. Having escaped the human jaws of death herself many, many, MANY years ago, Canny Cranny Granny not only knows how humans think, but she knows how and what makes their tummies rumble, a skill that is key to a successful Produce Recovery Operation. CCG may be a little slower than her comrades, but what this Canned Cran Gran lacks in speed she makes up for in stealth. For example, humans never notice CCG even when she finds herself smack dab in the center of their tables surrounded by the fleshy beings. She simply lays on her side in the nearest low-rimmed dish until the coast is clear and she can move about as need be. After all, it is known fact that humans rarely eat Cranberry Sauce from the can. CCG has taken advantage of this fact mission after mission and in doing so saved countless Fruit and Veggie lives from unsavory ends.
We here at the VLA are proud to welcome Major Canny Cranny Granny to the Holiday Meal Recovery Unit and bade fair warning to all U.S. humans this T-Day...The Produce IS RESTLESS...
Copyright 2005 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.
Posted by Regina Rioux at 8:28 AM