...Must we hear, read, see, be bludgeoned with this phrase and others similar to it day in and day out as we participate in the new, hip, exciting crafty revolution that is sweeping us all into a whirlwind of scissors, paper, yarn, paint, fun fur, tape, fabric, glue, buttons, thread, pinking shears, popsicle sticks, pipe cleaners, glitter, felt, trims, notions, needles, hooks, etc., etc.? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that everyone from tweens to teens, Gen-Xers to Boomers, moms, dads, kids, brothers, sisters, cousins, dogs, cats, llamas...okay I've gone too far...are using their hands, heads and hearts in pursuit of the craftier side of life. But how come countless individuals currently living the Life Craftique are picking on Granny? What did Granny do to deserve such derision?
Does the au currant hipster craftster really believe that all the myriad (and I mean myriad) scarves and hats and bags and sweaters and shawls and softies and blankets and pillows and handspun yarns and jewelry and scrapbooks and handmade soaps and candles and embroidered tea towels are new inventions? Does the current connoisseur of the Life Craftique really believe that he or she is the first being to ever recycle, reclaim, rework, rebirth, reconstitute, reassemble, revamp, remodel, retool, retrain, reinvent old objects and materials into fabulous craftier versions of their former selves? Is it possible that today's crafty revolutionary is that ignorant of the long and truly ancient history of human beings desire, need, compulsion to make objects from the bits and pieces of life's treasures as well as its detritus? If this is actually so, then that's just a shame in my humble opinion.
Guess what? I'll bet you significant cold hard cash that before many members of this crafty elite were old enough to hold a pair of scissors in their hands and fashion super cute A-line skirts out of funky, retro print fabrics, bust out their sergers and sew said future additions to their wardrobes together, that their respective Grannies or Great Grannies had already made enough of these to fill the equivalent square footage of the Roman Coliseum light years before their craftolutionary grandchildren were even a twinkle in their individual fathers' eyes. Only Granny's stylin' skirt? Yeah, the pattern and fabric she used to create her ready to wear addition probably wasn't thought of as retro, old school or vintage. No, in Granny's day, those patterns and fabrics were very au currant and young Eventually-To-Be-Granny was tearing up the town in her newly fashioned handmade duds without a thought to how hip, cool and groovy she was for making it with her own two hands.
Face it peeps, whatever we're all making now, whether it be herbal soap on a rope, a cell phone cozy, a pair of knitted socks or yet another freakin' scarf...Yeah well, I can pretty much guarantee you, some woman or man made one decades before it ever crossed your mind to make that thing you're working on now. Yeah, that thing. Okay, maybe Granny never made a cell phone cozy, but she made a cozy for some object in her dwelling. After all, Granny was human and humans are compelled to make crocheted or knitted covers for absolutely every item in their homes. It is unwritten law. Yes, it, is. Okay fine. Explain crocheted Santa toilet seat covers to me then...Ahem. I digress.
At any rate, I implore all of you to stop dissin' Granny. Instead, why don't you embrace your Inner Granny *employing your best Darth Vader impression when you speak this term*. You heard me. Acknowledge the fact that you sit in front of the tube for hours in your favorite chair, knitting scarf after freakin' scarf as your Granny and your Granny's Granny probably did long before you. Come to terms with the realization that you've knit so many of these long rectangular bands of fuzzy goodness that if all were tied together, they'd reach far beyond our borders to the earthquake ravaged region of Kashmir and could easily be used as a lifeline to extract a trapped Granny from the rubble that used to be her home, saving her from the jaws of death, enabling her to knit a few more scarves for her loved ones and in turn, catapulting you from mere connoisseur of the Life Craftique to INTERNATIONAL SEARCH AND RESCUE SUPER HERO, who selflessly spared a Granny so that she may live to knit again! All this because of you and your compulsive knitting thang. Can you see it? Go ahead, embrace the fact that your newfound fame, stardom and philanthropy is directly attributable to embracing your Inner Granny *Darth Vader voice* making those endless hours in front of the tube, knitting with abandon completely guilt-free and rooted in historical precedent. Now, how cool is that?
Okay, you don't have to become some fabulously philanthropic super crafter to get in touch with your Inner Granny *don't forget the Darth Vader voice*. No, channeling your inner geriatric crafty persona is as easy as acknowledging that doilies are not the thready devil incarnate. Conversely, they are amazing handmade wonders, each stitch made with loving care from size 50 or so thread and a blindingly small hook. Know that these luscious lacy goodies (and countless other handcrafted wonders that tell of the human imprint left upon our world) quite literally constitute the pavement that is the Crafty International Super Highway from its glorious handmade past to its fabulously funky present and hopefully will continue on long after we've left our crafty treasures to our children.
So everyone, I urge you to embrace your Inner Granny and in doing so eradicate the Global Granny Slander that currently plagues us. After all, each of us will be Grannies eventually and wouldn't it be wonderful to know that we will be just as valued in our society then as we seemingly are now?