The One Ring Con

Yes, that is Andy Serkis, Gollum in the flesh, holding my Gollum Hat, Gollum in the em, yarn!

And yes, I cropped my couple of martini lunch One Ring Convention self out of the picture. Really, I'm doing you all a service by not posting my half of the pic. I look the epitome of "drunken nerd". It's truly frightening.

Ahem, moving right along...

So, yeah, I got in touch with my inner geek by attending my first ever sci fi/fantasy convention in the lovely municipality of Burbank, California a few weeks ago. Needless to say, the experience was illuminating. And no, I did not dress up as an elf, but I did don my Gandalf t-shirt (yes, I own a Gandalf t-shirt!) and my Gollum Hat. I mean come on, if I can't wear Gollum on my head at an LOTR convention, wear the heck can I wear it??? I digress...

I didn't go alone either. My two fellow LOTR-lovin' girlfriends accompanied me (one a sci fi con vet and the other a newbie like myself). We went to cool symposiums such as "Making Armor in Your Kitchen" (incidentally, the three of us found we were way ahead of the lecturer in terms of our materials stockpiles and skill sets...hey, we're artists!), "Ringers: Behind the Scenes" (consisted of live Director's commentary whilst viewing the 2005 documentary) and rounding the day out with an Andy Serkis appearance/conversation. In between the scheduled festivities we hit the adjacent hotel bar for snacks and cocktails. Oh, and of course, I shelled out extra moola for the Andy Serkis photo op thang, which was totally worth it despite the fact that my souvenir photo clearly exhibits my "snacks and cocktails" pickled complexion.

Now, you should know I didn't leave the convention premises without first purchasing a few pieces of memorabilia to commemorate my very first nerd-a-thon. Yes, yes, I know the Andy Serkis pic is supposed to suffice, but people, hel-lo? I'm a bit compulsive, if you hadn't already figured that one out. So, yes, I acquired more booty in the form of jewelry.

A likeness of Gollum for my finger...



And of course The One Ring in silver 'cuz that's my style...



I kind of like this convention thing. I am thinking about purchasing tickets for this one next. Needless to say my teenage daughter is mortified that I'm even attending these type of events. Methinks her reaction to my nerd-dom makes me even more desirous of becoming a regular convention attendee...I know, I'm twisted that way.

Happy Thursday Kids!

Welcome to My Workspace...

I don't know about you, but I'm always interested to see where artists create their work. It's definitely the voyeur in me. I gravitate toward books and other media that provide me a glimpse inside these inner worlds. So, in honor of my second blogiversary (hard to believe I know), I thought it would be cool to give you a look around my workspace.

First and foremost, the cabinetry...



Or as I like to refer to these very special wooden repositories that reside in the second bedroom of our home, LadyLino's House O' Yarn! Yes, each dresser/armoire/cabinet and adjacent closet (not shown) are filled, and I do mean to the brim, with yarn and all of the collateral accoutrements. I should've opened them before snapping the pic, but I though it was too, uh, yarnographic.

Next stop, my Craftobrary...



...Which conveniently resides next to my sleeping head. God help me in the next earthquake. Although, death by craft book burial may be preferable to other forms of demise. Ahem...moving right along.

I am a huge proponent of acquiring inspiring materials as well as general reference tomes. Not only can I solve project and design technical issues right snappy just by merely cracking the spine of one of my Craftobrary compendiums, but by simply perusing some of the books and periodicals I've acquired I can jump start my blocked muse in a matter of moments.

From the Craftobrary we move onto the nerve center where all things crocheted and knitted take their first breath here at LabLinoleum...



Yes, that's my chair. It's big. It's bold. It's super comfy. And it sits next to my daylight lamp, which is currently preventing early onset blindness due to too much needlework. If you don't own one of these lamps, I highly recommend it.

So, that's it, the core spaces of creative output here at the Lab. Now, it's your turn. I'm interested to see your centers for creativity. If you so choose, please take a pic of your workspace and post on your blog. Then, if you'd be so kind, drop me a line so I can peer into your inner creative world. Come on. You know you wanna...

Mixed Grill Bowling Bag

First there was this...



Then there was this...



Give your barbecue tongs a clink for the newest grillalicious accessory to hit the Project Wrongway runway, the Mixed Grill Bowling Bag!



Okay, let me just say, before proceeding with the meaty details of this item, that this bag is modeled after an actual bowling bag. It is not an actual bowling bag and will not hold a ball. It's definitely sturdy, but I bowling balls are heavy peeps and this is made from yarn. However, it warms my heart that you all think that I possess the skill to make something so, well, functional.

Okay, let's move on shall we?

I definitely took this bag to the next level. I don't really know what level that happens to be, but hey, no matter. An evolution is an evolution.

So, in addition to the steak, we've got a few standard Monster Crochet motifs such as kebabs...



As well as cheeseburgers and franks...



Like its predecessor, This bag is highly constructed, roomy and equipped with zippage. And this one is all mine! No, shipping to a publisher; never be seen again other than on a printed page. Mine, mine mine! Unless of course the offspring fancies it. In that case, it'll be hers, hers, HERS!

Ahem...

Crochet Stats-O-Rama
Fibers: Rio de la Plata in heated coals color, medium rare burger color, slightly cooked meat color, American cheese color, and metal skewer color. Cascade Pastaza in grill color, hot dog color, onion color, tomato color and green bell pepper color. Pity those poor yarn store employees who actually attempt to help me upon my entrance into their shop. They have no idea what they're getting into...
Hook: US G Hook
Pattern: Moi

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

The High Road

Have a CD that floats your boat? Did you burn those tunes onto your ‘puter as a series of MP3 files and disperse it about the net for mass consumption? Have you downloaded a bunch of songs from the net without having paid a dime? Sure, I’ve done it. I don’t do it anymore, but I have in the past. Come on, you’ve done it too…

Do you find yourself partaking in hundreds of channels on your tube without paying any cold hard cash for the service? You don’t steal cable? Good, neither do I.

How about photocopying a knit or crochet pattern from a book then distributing said copies to a few of your fellow yarn addicts? Please, I don’t even want to hear the answers to this question…

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ownership of ideas as of late. This is mostly due to the fact that I currently find myself in the position as owner, operator and seller of ideas. Now, moving from sole idea production to idea producer and distributor was truly a difficult transition for me. Why? Well, I’m fundamentally paranoid, that’s why! LOL

Let’s face it. I am a trained as an artist, not a designer. In art school, we learned to make fabulous, unique, amazing objets d’art while bantering obfuscating art-speak with our milieu, simultaneously balancing a glass of wine in one hand and a pat of brie atop slice of baguette atop our egos in the other, all the while clad in cool artist garb, which is like wearing a neon sign that flashes, “Here Stands A Creative Genius!” Yep, I paid lots o’moola for that variety edu-prep, which really doesn’t prep you for anything, but life in the art world. And the art world? Yeah, that resides waaay outside real world city center, let me tell you.

So, copyright infringement? Trademark violations? Intellectual property rights? Fair use provisions? Creative license? Plain old stealing? Yeah, we didn’t touch on any of those concepts while I was in school. We read a lot of Freud though? Does that count? I digress…

Truly, when one is showing their objets d’art in brick and mortar galleries, the only people likely to partake in this experience range from family and friends to other artists, gallerists, art aficionados and art critics. Not a big pool o’peeps, peeps. Sure, ideas can be infringed upon or hey, just plain old ripped off, but with such a small incestuous pool of peeps, this is not as big of a problem as you may perceive. Despite this fact, there are artists who are nonetheless paranoid, secretive and/or covetous of their ideas. For the rest of us, it’s all about showing your stuff, pointing to it and exclaiming, “I made that piece of genius. I am artist, hear me roar!” Like I said, real world city center? Yeah, not even close. Nonetheless, this small world and the people who inhabit its core seem content and safe to continue along the path of art for art’s sake and well, I don’t blame them.

However, ultimately I am who I am. And who I am is a restless creature not easily satisfied by life in a cage. Doesn’t really matter how great the cage looks, how much studio space I have in that cage, how safe it is to express my ideas in the cage, how cool the peeps are that reside in the cage or how many bottles of red I am able to consume at the Friday night cage-gallery opening. It’s a cage nonetheless. I love freedom, discovery, adventure, invention, and well, yarn. This is a completely different post topic, but yarn ain’t exactly a respected art material down at the old art world rec center. In fact, the word “craft” or any derivation of that word is a pretty derogatory term in the world o’art (like I said, ‘nother post entirely). All of these factors combined forced me to put pedal to the metal and hightail it away from the art world rec center pool over to the coast for a dip in the ocean. The world wide web version of the ocean that is.

And what do you get when you take up residence at your very own domain name, web pages available to anyone with an internet connection? Um, lots and lots of peeps. Lots and lots of peeps from all walks of life who have access to literally anything and everything a little techno savvy heart could or would desire. We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto. Nope we’re in the big wide world where art, images and creativity are ubiquitous and intellectual property rights violations are too. Yee haw! WWW also stands for wild, wild west oh, by the way.

Yeah, so knowing this, I was a just a wee bit paranoid to begin showing my work, publishing my patterns or selling objects on my website and blog. I hail from the safety of the art world after all. In spite of this fact, I slowly but surely let all that LabLinoleum has to offer hang out. And you know what? In doing so I’ve learned a tremendous amount about the goodness of people, the badness of people and everything in between. I have learned that copyrights are very important. I have learned that written contracts are a comforting convention. I have learned that I have lots of good friends out there in blogland who are watching out for me and my creations. I have learned that one needs to do unto others as they would have others do unto them. Therefore, I do not download “free” music, I always pay my cable bill, I purchase art and craft items from the source or a reputable dealer and when I know someone who is interested in a pattern or a compendium of patterns outside the Monster Crochet universe that I happen to already own, I purchase an edition of that book or pattern for desirous individual as a gift.

I am certain that there are many individuals out there who do not agree with me. I am positive that some will view me as a stick in the mud (or other less affable terms). I am also certain that taking the high road, though it be difficult at times, is the road I prefer to traverse.

Things That Make Me Go Yeah!

Lots of inspirational stuff to be had these days. Here are some of my faves....

From the Knitosphere...



The Spring 2007 issue of Interweave Knits has this totally groovy alternative-to-the-tank-top apron thingie.



I just love it. Must be my inner domestic calling out to be heard. At any rate, I use other people's patterns as a respite from my own design workload. Gives my mind a much needed break. Aprons away!



Knit.1 mag's Spring 2007 issue is a veritable font of colorful sporty delectables! I haven't really pinpointed any one item that sets my needles aflame, but overall I think the issue's patterns/layout make up a tight compendium and are a definite source of inspiration.



Domiknitrix rocks my world from luscious vinyl cover to luscious vinyl cover. This book is well thought out, directions are clear and concise, and hel-lo? Lots of LadyLinoleum obsessionables (yes, I just made that word up) to be had amidst the pages. Very shortly I will be casting on the Mohawk hat (pg 121). Sheer genius I tell you!

For Hookers everywhere...



Okay, this is a shameless plug, but whatever. Everyone who is able to wield a hook should go out and purchase this wacky little diddy as soon as it hits your local booksellers shelves. Why? Because I said so AND there is LadyLinoleum pattern in there that is not to be missed. Can you say crocheted meat? On a grill? With weenies too?

You can pre-purchase from Amazon. You know you wanna...

Moving right along.

Now it's time to git yer Jimbo on!

Yep, lookie what my man Jimbo sent me earlier this week...





Yes, that would be a super long hand-carved Tunisian AND a lovely bulbous hookie that is sure to dull my constant hook-hand pain with each and every stitch. Truly, if you're a crocheter and you're not yet familiar with Jimbo's wares, you are missing out big time. You must go visit him NOW!

Also, give Jimbo a big round of applause for having his hooks featured in Belle Armoire mag. How awesome is that? And it couldn't have happened to a nicer and more talented dude. Love you Jimbo!

From my fantasy man...

Hey, we gals need at least one of these! And mine comes in a chain-smoking, trash-talking, brilliant traveling chef type o' package. Yes, I know I've said this numerous times, but hell, what's one more?



Tony Bourdain rocks my world. And he can rock yours too with his hilariously funny critique of the Food Channel and it's cadre of personalities. Beware, do not drink and read simultaneously. Unless of course you enjoy having liquid shoot out your nostrils as you erupt in laughter. I'm just saying...

For Angelenos who enjoy music under the stars...

Yep, the Hollywood Bowl's Summer 2007 schedule is up! Wooo Hooo!

And my absolute favorite event, which was sorely absent from the 2006 schedule, has made a return for '07...Nothing like wine and some Julie Andrews to kick off the summer! I am so dressing up this year. Better get my needles and hooks moving in prep!

You can read about my '05 Julie-in-the-Bowl reflection here. Jeez, shameless plugs abound in this post.

For those of you who plan to get in touch with your inner leprechaun this weekend...

I am of the high-minded opinion that one just cannot have enough Guinness stockpiled in one's domicile at this time of year and this is my preferred delivery method. What? The black and white not for you? Well, first, shame on you! And second, there's always Irish coffee...me likey those too.

Seriously though, be safe this weekend everyone, especially if you're imbibing!

I Knit The Cheese!

This has been my knitting diversion of the last week and it happens to be a stash-buster to boot, due to much leftover cotton from this uh, boner.

Drum roll puh-lease!


Modeled by my lovely fellow cube farmer, Brenita!

Nothing like a little Swiss cheese to wrap around the old neck. And due to its fiber content and many holes, this lovely cheesy rectangular wonder is THE spring accessory for peeps who like to play with their food just as much as they like eating it. Pair it with a half-slice of olive loaf and you've got yourself one DELI-licious outfit!



"I Knit The Cheese" was just as easy to work up as it will surely be fun to wear! I worked the openings in wherever I felt the need for one using my "hole charts" for assistance. Basically, I came up with three sizes of openings (small, medium, and large) and charted the stitches needed (or not needed in this case) in excel.



Working charts from the bottom up, I bound off the first 1 - 3 stitches (depending upon the hole size) of the future opening, then worked even across the rest of the row before turning and working back toward bind off. At this point I began working with two skeins of yarn, attaching at opposite side of bound off area. Using my chart(s) as a guide, I made the bottom half of the opening(s) larger by decreasing one stitch on each side of the hole(s). Conversely to make top half of the hole(s) smaller, I increased one stitch on each side of opening(s). To close hole(s) I casted on the same amount of stitches as the beginning bind off and continued knitting across entire row. I repeated that process over and over at random points on the scarf for a perfectly Swiss cheesy look! Finally I cleaned up the hole edge(s) with a round of single crochet. I just think the crochet makes it look cleaner.



Anyway, I encourage you all to try knitting some cheese. It's fun, fast and you get a pretty cool accessory at the end of the journey.

How metaphoric is it that I was knitting fabric with holes? The unconscious is amazing is it not?

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Thank You!

I am overwhelmed by your show of love and support since my last post. Truly, I am blessed to have you all in my life. Hugs to all of you!

At A Loss...

It is with heavy heart that I compose this post today dear readers.

My uncle, my mother's 58 year old younger brother, passed away last night after a brief but devastating illness that claimed his life. This current tragedy has added another gaping hole in the fabric of my family already pockmarked with the losses of both my maternal grandparents, my father and step-father.

I'm sitting here, staring at my computer screen, fingertips perched on keys, wondering what more I can say. Truly, I'm at a loss for words and need some time to process this event.

Give your loved ones a hug for me and cherish every moment.

Q&A

I generally receive lots of questions in my comments section and I just do not have enough free cube hours to address everyone's informational needs. My boss expects me to work when I'm cube-sitting. Doesn't he know I have a personal life to attend to??? Jeesh.

Let's do a little Q&A, shall we?

Heather asks, "How do you crochet such odd shapes (such as the bacon and the flames on the bowling bag)? It's such a beginner thing to ask and I'm sure I must have known at some point but don't remember now. Anyway if you have a book or site to recommend that would be awesome. Thanks."

Heather, beginner questions are no less important than their advanced counterparts. So, let me try to take a stab a coherent explanation.

Usually, I tackle odd shapes with a series of increases and decreases combined with short rows regardless of whether I'm working flat or in three-dimensions. Now, when working flat as with the bacon or the flames, before I crochet anything I create a chart (a color graph that resembles the finished object) for each motif. I used to create my charts by hand with graph paper and pencil, but now I, generally speaking, use MS Excel on my computer. In some cases, I incorporate both ways of working to execute a project.

Visually, a chart allows me to determine where I need to place my edge increases, decreases and also when I should work a short row (if I plan on decreasing or more than one stitch on an edge). My chart is my project guide, so to speak, and charting has become an integral part of my process.

Charting resources:
Knitting graph paper
More printable knitting graph paper
Knitpro (for those who need instant chart gratification)

Micky entreats, "Are we having an obsession with poultry lately?"

Micky, I've suffered a long history of chicken-luvvv. Really, I don't know what it's about. I'm sure there is some Freudian explanation for it, but I'm probably better off not knowing the details.

Molly asks, "What will you come up with next?"

*rubs hands together while sporting a sly grin* Oh, you know Molly....stuff. Hehehe. I can tell you, however, that deli meats and cheeses are involved. Oh, and a few insects (which are finished and awaiting publication). Also, I've finally figured out the direction of my book proposal. Getting it published? Well, that's another ball of wax.

Jeez, I almost forgot! I will soon begin a beer can collection, which will be the basis of my crocheted aluminum opus. You know, crochet combined with beer cans is such an underrated art form. I aim to change that perception.

Soren solicits, "Are you going to publish the bird pattern somewhere?"

I wish I could, but the birds themselves where part of a larger pattern conglomeration that Interweave contracted me to design. However, the publisher has yet to use the bird portion of the pattern in their publication. I am trying to figure out a work around. Stay tuned.

In My Precious, Heather inquires, "Can Hobbit feet be far behind??"

Heather, this is sheer brilliance. I've done King Kong feet. How hard could hobbit feet be? I mean, they are practically the same size as the King's feeties.

Desperate Housewife asks, "How do you think this stuff up?!"

Would you believe that this stuff just comes to me? It does. Really. And not while I'm asleep. Good God, that would be scary if I dreamt of veggies wielding weapons and olive loaf slices adorning my shoulders when I'm supposed be catching some zzzzz's. Nope, I prefer to receive my crocheted and knitted messages while wide awake. Where I can process through my fiber-filled psychosis. With liquor.

Any more questions for me? Leave 'em in my comments section and I will attempt to answer said Q's right snappy.

Introducing "Just Charts!"

Oftentimes after I've presented a new item such as this or this, I receive emails asking me for my charts. So, since these LabLinoleum charts seem to be in popular demand, I figured I'd start offering them to you all in exchange for a few duckets. This new Monster Crochet pattern line offering shall henceforth be called Just Charts!

Wanna crochet or knit or cross stitch an enormous strip o' bacon? Well, you're in luck. Just purchase the chart from my sidebar for the low, low price of $5.

More charts to come...

Thanks for all of your comments on my flaming bag! It is supposed to be published this fall, that is, if the publisher likes it as much as you guys do. Keep yer digits crossed.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

The Ball-Bearer

Free at last! Free at last!

Yes folks, my February crochet-a-thon ended this morning with a visit to the master of my office's FedEx dimension for a celebratory box hand-off. What was in that box inquiring minds would like to know? This...



Ain't it purty?

Nothing like a crocheted bowling bag to help you get in touch with your inner-plaid-pants-donning, rented-shoe-wearing self.

It's flamerific, is it not?

Even I was proud of myself. This thing is highly constructed peeps. Lots o' parts. I inserted a zipper too...not bad eh?



It actually pained me to ship this bag off this morning. I want one! However, I don't want it bad enough to start crocheting another one anytime soon. I need a serious break. Really though, I designed and executed this um, ball-bearer, in 7 days (2 full days and 5 evenings). I think I broke my own record.

Have no fear though. There be themed bowling bags in the future coming to you from LabLinoleum. Count on that.

Happy Thursday peeps! Can't wait for the weekend when I plan to crochet or knit whatever I want. So there.

* This bag is a bowling bag style purse. In no way will it hold the weight of a bowling ball. If you're a faux bowler, this is your bag...

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Super Corndog!

So, I got a call from my mother this morning asking me when the hell I plan on posting again. Okay. Okay! I get it. I've been seriously remiss in my posting duties. I have an excuse though. A good one at that. February has been a month in which I've been buried beneath projects with publishing deadlines. Now, this may seem pretty cool in theory. However, in reality I succeeded in overextended myself to the edge of sanity. I'm almost finished though and just need to stay focused until the process is complete.

Okay, let me state for the record that upon completion of this completely self-imposed ordeal, I'm making whatever I want, whenever I want. And I will be toasting many a glass full of spirits in celebration of my new found freedom!

Maybe I need a glass of spirits right now. You know, to celebrate my impending celebration? I digress.

I have been working on other items here and there in between the deadliners. These in-betweeners have become my refuge from my almost certain decent into the dribble cup realm. Although I think today's featured piece o' apparel is testament to my current downward slide.

Nothing like a cape with corndogs to soothe my beleaguered hands....


Modeled by the hubster on our condo rooftop.

Don't ask me what possessed me to crochet corndog appliques for a cape that was originally meant to be part of another SuperLinoleum ensemble. They look mighty tasty though. Uh, tasty as any acrylic mystery meat products could be that is.



This um, err, intriguing addition to Project Wrongway is brought to you by heaps of good ole Red Heart Super Saver acrylic yarn. (Should corndogs atop a super hero cape be crocheted and knitted with any other fiber? I think not.)

So yeah, padded walls and dribble cups may not be far away, but I'm sure to the most fashionable patient on the locked ward.

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Tragedy or Triumph?

Well, I guess that depends upon your perspective huh?

I do not generally post my knitting or crocheting mishaps because not posting these doosies (i) leads you to believe that I am a creative genius whose every single touch of needle or hook to yarn is a divine gift and (ii) well, I'd like you to laugh with me, not at me. Sometimes, however, I believe that I just need to throw vanity to the wind and show you those catastrophic conceptions that have managed to bypass my internal alarm system, an apparatus which is normally capable of complete eradication of crappy art before it hits our shared reality with a resounding thump.

So here goes...



Can we all acknowledge what a HUGE trooper my daughter is for modeling this um, err, stupendous creation?



It's a wearable black beast with tentacles!

Uh, no.

It's an woolly eclipse of the sun!

Definitely not.

I know! It's a Thneed!

No dumb-ass, Thneeds are multi-taskers. Hel-lo. That? Is not even a uno-tasker.

You know, in my defense I saw the problem way before the completion of this um, dark mohair doohickey, but being the mohair-y being it is, frogging was painful and pretty much impossible so I just kept going. Hey, I hate WIP's more than knitted nightmares. What can I say?

Here's the best part...

I wore this baby to the Cube Farm today where I was met with many a comment ranging from, "What the heck are you wearing?" to "Did you make that???"

However, one of my fellow Cube Commandos passed by me in the hall this morning and tore the thing from my shoulders, put it around her own and exclaimed, "This thing is COOL!"

I guess one person's tragedy is another's triumph...

I cannot believe I am copyrighting this, but what the hell. Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Blah-Blockers

It seems as though there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel with regard to my lingering case of The Blahs. Thanks so much for your comments/advice addressing my last post/conundrum. I found your "golden nuggets" to be exceedingly helpful and uplifting.



To this end, I've also employed other efforts to thwart my attitude into adjustment by making my reappearance at WeHo SNB (located at the Original Farmers Market) the Thursday before last. I missed the girls (and boys!) a bunch! It was so nice to sit, talk, laugh, fiddle with sticks and hooks and just generally get caught up with the goings on. Oh, and of course there were pressies!

My girl Kendra was finally able to liberate the Christmas present she created for me from her vehicle...

He/She's (don't know yet) a monster...



...and a sketchbook!



Wanna know the best part? This monster is removable! Yep, when I've filled this book up I can transfer the Fuzz-Master (I believe I just named this being Kendra) to a new sketchbook. Kendra is a genius!

Another Blah-blocker I employ quite often is the "Lena Factor". Yep, my child is a creative genius. Everything the offspring conjures up is not only a delight to behold, but her art is always an inspiration to me when I'm feeling blocked, blah-ed or blue.

Check out one of Lena's newest softies....



I love that she crocheted a trio of shawls for the little square one so as to ward off winter's chill...



After completion of the project above Lena blew through this bracelet, which she bestowed upon her mother during the height of her blue period...



Finally, the offspring rounded out her make-fest of last weekend by rescuing one of my abandoned eyeballs and coaxed it into bloom with a little DMC and a lot of painstaking effort...



I think that this eyeball makes for some very fetching flora. Don't you agree?

My third and final blah-blocker can be attributed to finishing one of my many lingering WIPs! Can I get a hallelujah?

I wish I could show you more, but this one's going to a publisher and technically once received, they own the design. Here's a peak though...



Wishing all of you a safe, happy and blah-free weekend! Smoochies all around!

Adventures On The Midway

It seems as though I am at midway point of, well, literally everything:

• Art girls collaborative (we haven't come up with a catchy name for our creative coven yet) project (we are tackling board games...this is not a project for the creatively-challenged, let me tell you);
• Three design projects/assignments for three different publishers all due on relatively the same date (can you say insane?);
• Current reading material atop my bedside table;
• The month of February;
• The winter season; and, well,
• The time line of my existence (I know, Drama Queen, what-ever)...

Now, I cannot really say that I am feeling completely and totally bored by the mid-ness of it all, but nonetheless the lack of new-ness which is absent from my presently languid life is really giving me a hard-core case of The Blahs. And yes, my plight is very bourgeois. Didn't I already say whatever?

Anyhow, what does a Linoleum do when combating a bad case of The Blahs (aside from complaining about it that is)?

• Wallow while I work (otherwise known as complaining with feeling). This is something akin to the Seven Dwarfs' "Whistle While You Work" tune, only my version substitutes whistling with moaning.
• Crochet and knit at lightening speed. You see, I have a rule: do not begin new project when there are three WIPs in play already. So, my new project pangs need to just be quiet until the time is right.
• Make like Evelyn Wood and get through the book(s) on my nightstand.
• Watch DVDs. Truly, inserting a disc imprinted with one of my favorite flicks or television episodes into the good ole media player lightens my mood and thereby effectively prevents more choruses of the first bullet point in this list.
• Tear off the pages from my various box calendars (I have four of these). Makes me feel as if the passage of time has accelerated.
• Contemplate the exciting events that I have planned for the coming year. Hopefully I won't miss any of these due to date discrepancies from, um, err, rampant calendar page destruction:
  • Wearing my Gollum Hat to The One Ring Con(you bet yer hooks I will);
  • Heading to San Diego for our next art girls collaborative meeting;
  • Possibly Vegas in April or May with friends;
  • Heading to San Francisco for another art girls collaborative meeting (we've got participants residing up and down the Golden State); and
  • Australia and New Zealand in September (YAY!).
• Contemplate projects for the coming year:
  • Burlesque accessories (Kendra are you reading this? Everyone else, don't ask);
  • Items emblazoned with flames appeasing the biker within;
  • Items inspired by Girl Scouts (better not to ask about this one either);
  • Getting in touch with my youth by creating some 80's inspired gear (could be scary);
  • Honoring Halloween with a smattering of goods created throughout the year (Do you miss the Monster in Monster Crochet? Me too.); and
  • More wearable deli products.
• Find a 12-step program for flagrant bullet point usage.

Ahhhh, I feel little bit better now. I'm interested to hear what you all do to combat The Blahs. Do tell...

Crochet Me Loves Gollum...

Who besides moi will be sporting this hat at The One Ring Con this March in the beautiful city of Burbank?

What??? You don't have the pattern???

Well, if you skip on over (okay, you are not required to skip) to Crochet Me you can pick the pattern up there!

You've got no excuses now Precious. Go on...Git yer inner dork on!

My Great Granny

At times one needs to rediscover, uncover, pay homage to one's roots. For me this process tends to be most rewarding when accompanied by my buddies, Hookster, The Twins (needles) and Yarnola. However, on my last trip down memory lane our little group ditched The Twins and we slipped into my ride for a much needed visit to Granny's place.

Now, visits to Granny's pad can truthfully at times be a bit boring. Conversely, there are instances when that old lady will drop her normally square demeanor and git her groove on. Armed with this knowledge of pleasurable visits past, our little trio stopped off at the local BevMo to lay in supplies before proceeding to Casa de Granny.

*Shhhh*

Don't tell anybody, but Granny can be a bit of a lush...

*Ahem*

Hey, a lush Granny is a loose Granny and a loose Granny is a very creative Granny. So what's a little alcohol between friends?

Okay, okay! I see the value of a sober Granny! Jeesh.

On the wagon, Granny is sedate, structured and quite literally a stalwart block that can be relied upon in a variety of situations. Just check out this vintage example of Granny in program...



Yes, I admit it. When Granny is dry, She belts out myriad items that are both pretty and functional, if sometimes a wee bit kitchy. But check out what happens when Granny has just a little sip of her tall cool one...



Another good example of tipsy Granny...



Basically, when Granny is sippin', she's a little less square and, in turn, a bit more flexible.

Now, how can this be a bad thing???

However, it's true. When Granny is, well, plastered, she does tend to get a bit crazy...



Backing off the sauce when she's in that state is generally considered to be a good thing by many of her companions, or so I'm told. Apparently clowns and seals balancing balls atop their noses made entirely from G-Squares are not projects that everyone longs to um, err, sink their hooks into. I, however, think Granny's a blast fully lit! Hell, I'm all for a G-Square Ring Master (and will throw one together this year for sure), but then again I'm not yer average chick. Like you hadn't noticed...

Granny's states of intoxication having been articulated, I must inform you that my last visit with Granny ended up less crazy party and more catch-up with old friends. Heck, Granny must have missed me because the minute our trio excited our vehicle, Granny wobbled out of her domicile and started jabbering a mile a minute. She garnered my attention so quickly that I'd completely forgotten about our supply stop en route! No matter. It was good to reminisce and blow through my stash during our visit. Actually, who am I kidding? I eradicated a HUGE amount of my wool stores when hanging with The Granster! Take a looksee...



I know, kind of sedate for me, but I just had to make one "normal" item for a change...



Ahhh, Granny really is the greatest!

Have you hooked your Granny today???

No? Well, here are some more resources to get you started:

• The basics and then some
• Half Grannies (I used these at the top of my Great Granny Shawl shown above)
• Neato Granny slippers
• The ubiquitous 'ghan
• A headband
• Cherubic Grannies
• Oooh-la-la a beret!
• Granny patterns galore

Do me a favor? When you're hanging out with your Granny, make sure to tell her that LadyLinoleum is her biggest fan...

Free Pattern - Fried Egg Cuffs

I just finished another strip of bacon and was feeling the need for some eggs...

Mr. Linoleum is modeling these styling embryonic accessories...

Nothing like wool eggs to warm your wristies! Really, everyone needs a pair, if I do say so myself, and this is now possible because I am providing the pattern below. Enjoy!

Fried Egg Cuffs

Materials:
- For Cuffs - worsted weight wool (I used about a third of a hank of Cascade 220) - charcoal
- For eggs - worsted weight wool (I used leftovers from my Cascade 200 stash) - cream & yellow
- US size F hook
- Tapestry needle
- Fiberfil

Gauge:
Not incredibly important

Abbreviations:
beg - beginning
ch - chain
Rep/rep - repeat
Rnd/rnd - round
Rnds/rnds - rounds
sc - single crochet
sl st - slip stitch
st - stitch
sts - stitches

Basic Ribbed Cuff (Make 2)
* Pattern is worked in the round. Each round begins with a ch 1 and ends with a sl st in beginning sc to join.
* Basic ribbed pattern requires work to be turned after the completion of each round.
Foundation Rnd - ch 1, being careful not to twist, sl st in beginning ch st to join
Rnd 1 - ch 1, 1 sc in same ch as sl st used to join foundation rnd, 1 sc in each of the remaining 29 ch sts, sl st to beg sc to join rnd (30 sts total)
Rnd 2 - ch 1, 30 sc, sl st to join rnd, turn
Rnd 3 - ch 1, working in back loops only 30 sc, sl st to join rnd, turn
Rnd 4 - ch 1, 30 sc, sl st to join rnd, turn
Rep rnds 3 and 4 until your cuff fits snug around your wrist, yet still able to slide over your hand (I worked mine until I had 18 ribs completed). Fasten off.

Cuff Finishing
Working one cuff "tube" at a time, pin ends of cuff tube together and sc around entire pinned tube to close opening. Weave in ends and flatten out joined tube to wear as a cuff.

Fried Egg (Make 2)
*Pattern is worked in the round. Each round begins with a ch 1 and ends with a sl st in beginning sc to join.
Rnd 1 (Yellow) - ch 2, 8 sc in 2nd ch from hook, sl st to join rnd
Rnd 2 - ch 1, 2 sc in every st, sl st to join rnd (16 sts total)
Rnds 3 & 4 - ch 1, 16 sc, sl st to join rnd, break off yellow
Rnd 5 (Cream) - attach cream, ch 1, (1 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd (24 sts total)
Rnd 6 - ch 1, (2 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd (32 sts total)
Rnd 7 - ch 1, (3 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd (40 sts total)
Rnd 8 - ch 1, (4 sts, 2 sts next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd, fasten off (48 sts total)
* For rnd 8 use a combination of stitches (sc, hdc and dc) at random to create an uneven edge. I suggest building curves. Working up a curve by using sc first, then hdc and finally, dc for the apex. Diminish the curve by using dc first, then hdc, finishing it off with sc.

Egg Finishing
Working one egg/cuff combination at a time, place a bit of fiberfil in the concave side of the yellow portion (yolk) of the egg. Pin egg to cuff and tack down cream portion of egg (closest to yolk) using a length of leftover cream yarn. It is preferable to only sew through egg and first layer of cuff. Weave in any ends. Repeat process for remaining cuff and egg combo. Slip embryos on your wrists and enjoy!

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

The Quirk Factor

It may come as no surprise to you, but there is a certain quirk factor that permeates through the very recesses of my existence from the items I create to the daily media medly I partake in. Fortunately last weekend my media medly consisted of these two delightfully quirky examples of cinema...

Broken Flowers...



Written and directed by a master of contemporary quirk, Jim Jarmusch, and starring Bill Murray, this is a lovely little comedic tale of loves lost, expectations thwarted and realizations made, all from behind the wheel of a rented Ford Taurus.

Here's the synopsis I found on imdb:

"The resolutely single Don Johnson has just been dumped by his latest lover, Sherry. Don resigns himself to being alone yet again and left to his own devices. Instead, he is compelled to reflect on his past when he receives by mail a mysterious pink letter. It is from an anonymous former lover and informs him that he has a 19-year-old son who may now be looking for his father. Don is urged to investigate this "mystery" by his closest friend and neighbor, Winston,
an amateur sleuth and family man. Hesitant to travel at all, Don nonetheless embarks on a cross-country trek in search of clues from four former flames. Unannounced visits to each of these unique women hold new surprises for Don as he haphazardly confronts both his past and, consequently, his present."

Bill Murray is delightfully droll as the movie's main character, Don Johnston. Jeffrey Wright plays Murray's neighbor, Winston, who is equally amusing in his sheer oddity. Both characters are endearing portraits of American men from very different backgrounds who come together in a search for meaning amidst life's small moments. Moreover, the on-screen rapport between Murray and Wright is not only fascinating to watch, but their relationship truly drives the flick. Upon the film's conclusion, I was left with the overwhelming feeling that these guys have been a screen team for years and that, my friends, is a testament to the amazing depth and breadth of talent these two seasoned actors exhibit.

And let's not forget about the film's creator, Jim Jarmusch. First of all, you gotta love a guy who's been sportin' this do for a bazillion years...



In addition to his upswept locks, Jarmusch can always, always be counted upon to provide a film with an exquisitely twisted premise, intriguing characters and cinematic vistas that cut a cross-section through the human landscape.

More of my Murray faves:
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou;
Lost in Translation;
The Royal Tenenbaums;
Rushmore;
Groundhog Day;
What About Bob?; and
of course all those SNL classics...

More of my Wright faves:
Basquiat; and
Syriana.

More of my Jarmusch faves:
Night on Earth;
Mystery Train; and
one of the best guest appearances ever on a show that was SO wrongly cancelled, Fishing with John.

The quirkfest continued this weekend last with a screening of Little Miss Sunshine...




"Olive is a little girl with a dream: winning the Little Miss Sunshine contest. Her family wants her dream to come true, but they are so burdened with their own quirks, neuroses, and problems that they can barely make it through a day without some disaster befalling them. Olive's father Richard is a flop as a motivational speaker, and is barely on speaking terms with her mother. Her uncle Frank, a renowned Proust scholar, has attempted suicide following an
unsuccessful romance with a male graduate student. Her brother Dwayne, a fanatical follower of Nietzsche, has taken a vow of silence, which allows him to escape somewhat from the family whose very presence torments him. And Olive's grandfather is a ne'er-do-well with a drug habit, but at least he enthusiastically coaches Olive in her contest talent routine. Circumstances conspire to put the entire family on the road together with the goal of getting Olive to the Little Miss Sunshine contest in far off California."

Come on...any film that references Nietzsche, Proust and Rick James before its conclusion is alright in my book. Really though, if you haven't seen this film yet, you must. The cast is well chosen, the scenes are brilliant exhibitions of great writing combined with equally great acting and this film is fun-ny...yes, this flick is sure to provoke more than a few laughs from its audience.

Toni Collette was just brilliant as the flawed family matriarch. Greg Kinnear was imminently endearing in his consistent striving to ascend the mediocrity in which he finds himself using his self-devised 9 step methodology. Steve Carrell? Can you say gay, suicidal, Proust scholar? 'Nuff said. Alan Arkin had me in side-splitting fits of glee, while Paul Dano and Abigail Breslin gave performances assuring them many a future cinematic gig.

Jeez, have you seen this film yet?

More of my faves by this star-studded cast:
Definitely check out Collette in Muriel's Wedding, The Sixth Sense and About a Boy;
Kinnear in Nurse Betty, As Good as It Gets and Mystery Men (it doesn't get much quirkier than this film);
who doesn't love Carrell in The Office; and
Arkin parts too numerous to detail, check this list.

Any quirk factor movies you'd think I would like? Let me know in my comments!

Happy Monday everyone!

Chicken Beanie Pattern

Chicken Beanie pattern is available now on my sidebar!

I'm on a roll folks. In addition to the "chapeaux du poultry" I am also working on three patterns for three separate publications, which will be available at your local newsstand in the next couple of months. Wooo hooo!

Thanks to all of you for your endless support, warm comments and amazing camaraderie! Smoochies all around!!