Sunday, February 25, 2007

Super Corndog!

So, I got a call from my mother this morning asking me when the hell I plan on posting again. Okay. Okay! I get it. I've been seriously remiss in my posting duties. I have an excuse though. A good one at that. February has been a month in which I've been buried beneath projects with publishing deadlines. Now, this may seem pretty cool in theory. However, in reality I succeeded in overextended myself to the edge of sanity. I'm almost finished though and just need to stay focused until the process is complete.

Okay, let me state for the record that upon completion of this completely self-imposed ordeal, I'm making whatever I want, whenever I want. And I will be toasting many a glass full of spirits in celebration of my new found freedom!

Maybe I need a glass of spirits right now. You know, to celebrate my impending celebration? I digress.

I have been working on other items here and there in between the deadliners. These in-betweeners have become my refuge from my almost certain decent into the dribble cup realm. Although I think today's featured piece o' apparel is testament to my current downward slide.

Nothing like a cape with corndogs to soothe my beleaguered hands....

Modeled by the hubster on our condo rooftop.

Don't ask me what possessed me to crochet corndog appliques for a cape that was originally meant to be part of another SuperLinoleum ensemble. They look mighty tasty though. Uh, tasty as any acrylic mystery meat products could be that is.

This um, err, intriguing addition to Project Wrongway is brought to you by heaps of good ole Red Heart Super Saver acrylic yarn. (Should corndogs atop a super hero cape be crocheted and knitted with any other fiber? I think not.)

So yeah, padded walls and dribble cups may not be far away, but I'm sure to the most fashionable patient on the locked ward.

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Tragedy or Triumph?

Well, I guess that depends upon your perspective huh?

I do not generally post my knitting or crocheting mishaps because not posting these doosies (i) leads you to believe that I am a creative genius whose every single touch of needle or hook to yarn is a divine gift and (ii) well, I'd like you to laugh with me, not at me. Sometimes, however, I believe that I just need to throw vanity to the wind and show you those catastrophic conceptions that have managed to bypass my internal alarm system, an apparatus which is normally capable of complete eradication of crappy art before it hits our shared reality with a resounding thump.

So here goes...

Can we all acknowledge what a HUGE trooper my daughter is for modeling this um, err, stupendous creation?

It's a wearable black beast with tentacles!

Uh, no.

It's an woolly eclipse of the sun!

Definitely not.

I know! It's a Thneed!

No dumb-ass, Thneeds are multi-taskers. Hel-lo. That? Is not even a uno-tasker.

You know, in my defense I saw the problem way before the completion of this um, dark mohair doohickey, but being the mohair-y being it is, frogging was painful and pretty much impossible so I just kept going. Hey, I hate WIP's more than knitted nightmares. What can I say?

Here's the best part...

I wore this baby to the Cube Farm today where I was met with many a comment ranging from, "What the heck are you wearing?" to "Did you make that???"

However, one of my fellow Cube Commandos passed by me in the hall this morning and tore the thing from my shoulders, put it around her own and exclaimed, "This thing is COOL!"

I guess one person's tragedy is another's triumph...

I cannot believe I am copyrighting this, but what the hell. Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Friday, February 16, 2007


It seems as though there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel with regard to my lingering case of The Blahs. Thanks so much for your comments/advice addressing my last post/conundrum. I found your "golden nuggets" to be exceedingly helpful and uplifting.

To this end, I've also employed other efforts to thwart my attitude into adjustment by making my reappearance at WeHo SNB (located at the Original Farmers Market) the Thursday before last. I missed the girls (and boys!) a bunch! It was so nice to sit, talk, laugh, fiddle with sticks and hooks and just generally get caught up with the goings on. Oh, and of course there were pressies!

My girl Kendra was finally able to liberate the Christmas present she created for me from her vehicle...

He/She's (don't know yet) a monster...

...and a sketchbook!

Wanna know the best part? This monster is removable! Yep, when I've filled this book up I can transfer the Fuzz-Master (I believe I just named this being Kendra) to a new sketchbook. Kendra is a genius!

Another Blah-blocker I employ quite often is the "Lena Factor". Yep, my child is a creative genius. Everything the offspring conjures up is not only a delight to behold, but her art is always an inspiration to me when I'm feeling blocked, blah-ed or blue.

Check out one of Lena's newest softies....

I love that she crocheted a trio of shawls for the little square one so as to ward off winter's chill...

After completion of the project above Lena blew through this bracelet, which she bestowed upon her mother during the height of her blue period...

Finally, the offspring rounded out her make-fest of last weekend by rescuing one of my abandoned eyeballs and coaxed it into bloom with a little DMC and a lot of painstaking effort...

I think that this eyeball makes for some very fetching flora. Don't you agree?

My third and final blah-blocker can be attributed to finishing one of my many lingering WIPs! Can I get a hallelujah?

I wish I could show you more, but this one's going to a publisher and technically once received, they own the design. Here's a peak though...

Wishing all of you a safe, happy and blah-free weekend! Smoochies all around!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Adventures On The Midway

It seems as though I am at midway point of, well, literally everything:
  • Art girls collaborative (we haven't come up with a catchy name for our creative coven yet) project (we are tackling board games...this is not a project for the creatively-challenged, let me tell you);
  • Three design projects/assignments for three different publishers all due on relatively the same date (can you say insane?);
  • Current reading material atop my bedside table;
  • The month of February;
  • The winter season; and, well,
  • The time line of my existence (I know, Drama Queen, what-ever)...

Now, I cannot really say that I am feeling completely and totally bored by the mid-ness of it all, but nonetheless the lack of new-ness which is absent from my presently languid life is really giving me a hard-core case of The Blahs. And yes, my plight is very bourgeois. Didn't I already say whatever?

Anyhow, what does a Linoleum do when combating a bad case of The Blahs (aside from complaining about it that is)?
  • Wallow while I work (otherwise known as complaining with feeling). This is something akin to the Seven Dwarfs' "Whistle While You Work" tune, only my version substitutes whistling with moaning.
  • Crochet and knit at lightening speed. You see, I have a rule: do not begin new project when there are three WIPs in play already. So, my new project pangs need to just be quiet until the time is right.
  • Make like Evelyn Wood and get through the book(s) on my nightstand.
  • Watch DVDs. Truly, inserting a disc imprinted with one of my favorite flicks or television episodes into the good ole media player lightens my mood and thereby effectively prevents more choruses of the first bullet point in this list.
  • Tear off the pages from my various box calendars (I have four of these). Makes me feel as if the passage of time has accelerated.
  • Contemplate the exciting events that I have planned for the coming year. Hopefully I won't miss any of these due to date discrepancies from, um, err, rampant calendar page destruction:
  • Contemplate projects for the coming year:
    • Burlesque accessories (Kendra are you reading this? Everyone else, don't ask);
    • Items emblazoned with flames appeasing the biker within;
    • Items inspired by Girl Scouts (better not to ask about this one either);
    • Getting in touch with my youth by creating some 80's inspired gear (could be scary);
    • Honoring Halloween with a smattering of goods created throughout the year (Do you miss the Monster in Monster Crochet? Me too.); and
    • More wearable deli products.
  • Find a 12-step program for flagrant bullet point usage.

Ahhhh, I feel little bit better now. I'm interested to hear what you all do to combat The Blahs. Do tell...

Friday, February 09, 2007

Crochet Me Loves Gollum...

Who besides moi will be sporting this hat at The One Ring Con this March in the beautiful city of Burbank?

What??? You don't have the pattern???

Well, if you skip on over (okay, you are not required to skip) to Crochet Me you can pick the pattern up there!

You've got no excuses now Precious. Go on...Git yer inner dork on!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

My Great Granny

At times one needs to rediscover, uncover, pay homage to one's roots. For me this process tends to be most rewarding when accompanied by my buddies, Hookster, The Twins (needles) and Yarnola. However, on my last trip down memory lane our little group ditched The Twins and we slipped into my ride for a much needed visit to Granny's place.

Now, visits to Granny's pad can truthfully at times be a bit boring. Conversely, there are instances when that old lady will drop her normally square demeanor and git her groove on. Armed with this knowledge of pleasurable visits past, our little trio stopped off at the local BevMo to lay in supplies before proceeding to Casa de Granny.


Don't tell anybody, but Granny can be a bit of a lush...


Hey, a lush Granny is a loose Granny and a loose Granny is a very creative Granny. So what's a little alcohol between friends?

Okay, okay! I see the value of a sober Granny! Jeesh.

On the wagon, Granny is sedate, structured and quite literally a stalwart block that can be relied upon in a variety of situations. Just check out this vintage example of Granny in program...

Yes, I admit it. When Granny is dry, She belts out myriad items that are both pretty and functional, if sometimes a wee bit kitchy. But check out what happens when Granny has just a little sip of her tall cool one...

Another good example of tipsy Granny...

Basically, when Granny is sippin', she's a little less square and, in turn, a bit more flexible.

Now, how can this be a bad thing???

However, it's true. When Granny is, well, plastered, she does tend to get a bit crazy...

Backing off the sauce when she's in that state is generally considered to be a good thing by many of her companions, or so I'm told. Apparently clowns and seals balancing balls atop their noses made entirely from G-Squares are not projects that everyone longs to um, err, sink their hooks into. I, however, think Granny's a blast fully lit! Hell, I'm all for a G-Square Ring Master (and will throw one together this year for sure), but then again I'm not yer average chick. Like you hadn't noticed...

Granny's states of intoxication having been articulated, I must inform you that my last visit with Granny ended up less crazy party and more catch-up with old friends. Heck, Granny must have missed me because the minute our trio excited our vehicle, Granny wobbled out of her domicile and started jabbering a mile a minute. She garnered my attention so quickly that I'd completely forgotten about our supply stop en route! No matter. It was good to reminisce and blow through my stash during our visit. Actually, who am I kidding? I eradicated a HUGE amount of my wool stores when hanging with The Granster! Take a looksee...

I know, kind of sedate for me, but I just had to make one "normal" item for a change...

Ahhh, Granny really is the greatest!

Have you hooked your Granny today???

No? Well, here are some more resources to get you started:

Do me a favor? When you're hanging out with your Granny, make sure to tell her that LadyLinoleum is her biggest fan...

Friday, February 02, 2007

Free Pattern - Fried Egg Cuffs

I just finished another strip of bacon and was feeling the need for some eggs...

Mr. Linoleum is modeling these styling embryonic accessories...

Nothing like wool eggs to warm your wristies! Really, everyone needs a pair, if I do say so myself, and this is now possible because I am providing the pattern below. Enjoy!

Fried Egg Cuffs

- For Cuffs - worsted weight wool (I used about a third of a hank of Cascade 220) - charcoal
- For eggs - worsted weight wool (I used leftovers from my Cascade 200 stash) - cream & yellow
- US size F hook
- Tapestry needle
- Fiberfil

Not incredibly important

beg - beginning
ch - chain
Rep/rep - repeat
Rnd/rnd - round
Rnds/rnds - rounds
sc - single crochet
sl st - slip stitch
st - stitch
sts - stitches

Basic Ribbed Cuff (Make 2)
* Pattern is worked in the round. Each round begins with a ch 1 and ends with a sl st in beginning sc to join.
* Basic ribbed pattern requires work to be turned after the completion of each round.

Foundation Rnd - ch 1, being careful not to twist, sl st in beginning ch st to join
Rnd 1 - ch 1, 1 sc in same ch as sl st used to join foundation rnd, 1 sc in each of the remaining 29 ch sts, sl st to beg sc to join rnd (30 sts total)
Rnd 2 - ch 1, 30 sc, sl st to join rnd, turn
Rnd 3 - ch 1, working in back loops only 30 sc, sl st to join rnd, turn
Rnd 4 - ch 1, 30 sc, sl st to join rnd, turn
Rep rnds 3 and 4 until your cuff fits snug around your wrist, yet still able to slide over your hand (I worked mine until I had 18 ribs completed). Fasten off.

Cuff Finishing
Working one cuff "tube" at a time, pin ends of cuff tube together and sc around entire pinned tube to close opening. Weave in ends and flatten out joined tube to wear as a cuff.

Fried Egg (Make 2)
*Pattern is worked in the round. Each round begins with a ch 1 and ends with a sl st in beginning sc to join.
Rnd 1 (Yellow) - ch 2, 8 sc in 2nd ch from hook, sl st to join rnd
Rnd 2 - ch 1, 2 sc in every st, sl st to join rnd (16 sts total)
Rnds 3 & 4 - ch 1, 16 sc, sl st to join rnd, break off yellow
Rnd 5 (Cream) - attach cream, ch 1, (1 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd (24 sts total)
Rnd 6 - ch 1, (2 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd (32 sts total)
Rnd 7 - ch 1, (3 sc, 2 sc next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd (40 sts total)
Rnd 8 - ch 1, (4 sts, 2 sts next st) 8 times, sl st to join rnd, fasten off (48 sts total)
* For rnd 8 use a combination of stitches (sc, hdc and dc) at random to create an uneven edge. I suggest building curves. Working up a curve by using sc first, then hdc and finally, dc for the apex. Diminish the curve by using dc first, then hdc, finishing it off with sc.

Egg Finishing
Working one egg/cuff combination at a time, place a bit of fiberfil in the concave side of the yellow portion (yolk) of the egg. Pin egg to cuff and tack down cream portion of egg (closest to yolk) using a length of leftover cream yarn. It is preferable to only sew through egg and first layer of cuff. Weave in any ends. Repeat process for remaining cuff and egg combo. Slip embryos on your wrists and enjoy!

Copyright 2007 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.