Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

Or, more apropos, a tale of misdirected Tomatoggression...

There has been a serious lack of Produce-inspired products around here as of late. So in light of this egregious situation I figured it best to get back down to Seeds of the matter.

Meet the first in what is to be a long line of psychotic tomatoes, Professor Rojo...



And his alter ego, Mr. Hothouse...



Two halves of the same whole...



Professor Rojo, a mild-mannered Tomatollectual by day turned schizoid, bloodshot, ripened on the vine Mr. Hothouse by night. What could twist our red friend's Stem that out of shape?

GreenHouse Gas.

That's right, Professor Rojo is a bit of a lush when it comes to imbibing the local gassy brew at the neighborhood GreenHouse. So much so, that it makes him a bit dotty. Who am I kidding, Professor Rojo is an angry drunk and after an evening of sucking down fumes he's ready to pick a fight with anyone, for any reason. The Tomato's nefarious reputation is well known amongst the Produce in the neighborhood G-Houses and now he is simply referred to by those far and wide as Mr. Hothouse.

Ostracized and eventually driven from the annals of Tomatodemic society, the fallen off of the vine Professor Rojo/Mr. Hothouse has retreated into a life steeped in fervent gas inhalation and the subsequent rabble-rousing that ensues. In fact, after hours at the local Crateyard he's gathered other red-skinned He-Matoes in order to work out their collective Tomatosterone aggressions with one another. This gathering of brutish Tomateys is aptly called by participants and aficionados alike, Tomato Fight Night Club ("TFNC"). Any Tomato jumped-into the club is not to speak of the club to anyone. They are not to speak of TFNC to one another, nor to their spouses, girlfriends or therapists. No one. What's done in TFNC, stays in TFNC.

Stay tuned for more degenerate Tomatoes as I pledge to make one a week for as long as I can stand to do so...

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.