Monday, May 22, 2006

'Tis the Season

A new season of SAG screenings is upon us. Now, I realize that to many of you this factoid means little. And I must admit, if I were not married to this man I would be aboard your vessel. However, I am, in fact, married to the guy and he is a card-carrying member of SAG. Add to this mixture that notion that he's really into the free screening thang and you get a picture of my current predicament...companion to husband for said screenings. Try as I might to painlessly extricate myself from these actor-crammed engagements, I am oftentimes unsuccessful at this endeavor for whatever reason. Okay, so my reasons usually involve very important meetings with the Tidy Bowl Man and a very prickly brush. A girl’s got responsibilities you know! Sheesh.

Anyhow, those of you familiar with this here bloggity blog blog may recall posts of SAG screenings past and my reluctant immersion by association into “The Business”. The rest of you newer-bies should heretofore consider yourself officially initiated as you accompany me on my travels through a thespian-populated world that makes a 2” puddle on the street seem deeper than the darkest depths of the Atlantic Ocean for we are now entering the world of stage and screen where a good coif is paramount , curbing caloric intake is scientific method and carrying big ole boxes of headshots in your car is a form of religion. I digress.

Last eve, excuses were no match for the persistant calls of the free film titans. Nosirree! I thought I had made a successful escape when my daughter entered the living room and declared her father MIA thereby prohibiting her return to his domain for the evening. This statement also meant that there would be no need for me to drive her over there, thus making my alibi null and void. At her utterance the hubster then looks to me and says, “So, you both will be able to come with me to the screening tonight…”

To which I absent-mindedly replied, “Uh, yeah, I guess,” immediately feeling the depth and breadth of my faux pas.

I was ensnared in the trap with no hope of escape, so I put on a few of my worst duds that included an old AC/DC tee, hair coiffed in spastic Princess Leia-inspired buns sans make-up, grabbed my daughter and knitting bag and hopped in the car next to the happy hubs. We drove a couple of blocks to our destination…Sure, technically, the screening was close enough to our domicile that we could have easily walked, but this is Los Angeles people! Angelenos are to driving as birds are to flight. We love our cars and spend our entire lives driving around in our metal pods, distance be damned.

Upon arrival at screening central we were met with an ever-growing line made up of a gazillion troupers. This type of situation is generally where my low profile, grunge-inspired garb serves me well. I am anonymous in a crowd of crowd-pleasers…That is, until my loving mate opens his jaws, spilling forth verbiage, joining in the surrounding cacophony while simultaneously introducing me, wife of actor, dressed to less-than-the-nines, sporting spastic Princess Leia-style buns, wishing she were anywhere but there. I had no choice. At that point I could just smile politely, giggle in all the appropriate places and hope to hell the theater doors would open shortly allowing me to escape the din ringing in the latest auditions, how to achieve darker, bronze-r tans, sharing preferred methods of honing one’s craft and yes, my favorite, how fake everyone seems to be is in this town…Tidy Bowl Man, where are you when I need you???

Finally, this bun-donning Lady of the Linoleum was allowed refuge in the darkened theater and just in case, I strategically seated offspring between moi and spouse to deter more participation in actor-logue. Oh save yer snide remarks. I know, shameless…Whatever.

So, what were we there to see inquiring minds want to know?

The 23rd hour of 24 peeps!

Yes, that would be the first part of tonight’s season finale. Here’s what I have to say to all of you fellow 24-ites…Neener, neener, nee-ner!

So, uh yeah, just in case you’re wondering, it’s a cliffhanger…

Hey, at least there was some pay-off for my having to endure a thousand thespians.

Also, since this was an Emmy thang, Jack Bauer, President Logan and the First Lady were all in attendance for a Q&A following the sneak preview. Oh yes, what could be better than impromptu actor-logue preceeding a screening? Scheduled actor-logue succeeding a screening…you know, the kind with an open mic, myriad actors chomping at the bit to perform, err, I mean ask questions of other actors for a crowd of, yes, actors sitting before them?

Come to think of it, I believe there’s an entire cable show based upon this premise…

10 comments:

ThreeOliveMartini said...

umm first off.. your hubster.. man.. NICE!!

then have i mentioned before i have actually met keifer ?

umm cause i think if he had time to really know me.. i think he would marry me.. lol..

~drew emborsky~ said...

Such a good wife!!

SheCrochets said...

Poor you! At least you made it through the night in one piece, right??
(And I want to see these plastic buns of yours!)

JANNIKINZ said...

An expierence of a lifetime? only for some. Sounds like the evening was very interesting (to me at least).. :-)

Rose said...

Your hubby is a fire breather?!!! Actually, that evening sorta sounds like fun.

Kim Guzman said...

Since you and I share the same taste in television programs, I know that this was quite a pleasant surprise for you! What a terrific reward for what you had thought was going to be an all knitting sort of evening. :-)

Shell said...

Living in Calgary (Canada) where all our rivers and lakes are Glacier fed, I read the part about coldweather survival and laughed my butt off. Then again it ususally snows for the May long weekend here......
So, get many snowstorms in LA? Didn't think so.
Your hubster, very cute yes?

I'm sort of ambivilant about the whole SAG thing. I've worked on/ watched filming. Done costuming for theatre and such. Some of the actors/esses are wonderful. And would work with them anytime. Some I'd like to punch through a wall. Must be the Canadian in me. It's considered impolite to approach someone famous, espically if they are eating. Since we get tons of filming in my area I guess I could go out an get autographs, but it seems crass.

Tifffany said...

Wow, that all sounds pretty exciting to me! I guess it would get old after awhile - but I love watching stuff!

Marnie said...

Uhgh, my friend is a teamster and she's brought me to a few wrap parties which were fun enough and filled with free booze and eats, but I don't think I could handle something where everyone was mingling. I only like famous ANIMAL actors ;)

FinnyKnits said...

You saw JACK BAUER (sorry, we have to speak his name with intensity in our house) in person? Fantastic! Personally, I'm with you on the Tidy Bowl over annoying crowds scenario, but at least you got to see JACK BAUER live. To me, he is a tasty little piece.