Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Knitted Wings!

Check out these babies...

Are they not delicate?

Delectably dainty?

Deniably dystopic?

Delightfully detached from all things dreadful?



An in-dee-spensible part of daily wardrobe?

Yeah, I kinda like 'em...

Based upon my crocheted wings, this diaphanous knitted duo was created with lace weight mohair and size 4 needles. They're nothing, if not dazzling...

Yes, I am totally obsessed with the yarn wing thing and be that as it may, I decided to kick my yarn-y winged pursuit up a notch (channeling Emeril) and make another pair. Only this time with a larger gauge and slightly more fuzzy. And purple-y. With gold flecks. Oh, and maribou encrusted ribbon for the ties! Take a looksee at the result...

No, I was not listening to Purple Rain on repeat.

I was, however, thinking about a nice fashion accessory to wear to this little outing. Now all I need are some shoulder pads and I'll be the belle of the, um, karaoke-infused ball...I know, I'm a dork!

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Psychotic Tomato Gallery

It's finally finished!

View the Tomatoes that started it all.

Then take a look at the Tomatoes that were created from far and wide!

Inspired? Why don't you make your own Psychotic Tomato and send a picture of said creature to me for display in the gallery???

You know you wanna...

Thanks to everyone for the lovely birthday wishes!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Blow by Blow Birthday Post

Shocked by the thought of year 37...

Yes folks it's true. As of the 18th of this month I firmly planted my foot on the path that leads me one year closer to death. I know that's morose, but what can I say? I'm an old bat to the depths of my yarn encrusted soul. Don't think that stops me from whoopin' it up for the annual celebration of my birth. This ole bat enjoys carousing with friends, big heaps o' pressies and your general eating, drinking and making merry. I'm a Taurus after all and that aspect of my nature tends to outweigh any nay-saying put forth from my inner geriatric bat.

True to my astrological nature, I began celebrating my birthday the weekend preceeding the actual date with the purchase of these very cool items at an amazing shop near to my mother's home. I'm not ashamed to say that I buy gifties for myself. After all, I'm me and I know what me likes. And me very much desired these awesome antique dressforms:

It's a boy!

And a girl!

I think that me is very adept at choosing gifts for, eh, me. I am sounding a bit like Cookie Monster at the moment. Moving right along.

Myriad celebrations ensued following my weekend shopping spree. Last Thursday, I was treated to a birthday luncheon away from the cube farm acreage at Clementine by the lovely and talented Idea du Jour proprietor (and sometimes spokesmodel for this here bloggy), Briana! We had wholesome, ruddy bowls of roasted tomato soup and egg salad sandwiches. Yum! Thanks Bri!

Saturday night I celebrated in style at one of my family's fave restaurants with the marital unit, the parental unit and my subsidiary. We cooked raw meat and veggies atop a grill located in the center of our table. My offspring loves this process and because of this now widely known fact, my family frequents this restaurant at her behest more often than not.

Non-crocheted/knitted meat...

My gorgeous daughter...

Finally, Sunday was spent birthday lunching on Japanese style risotto and curry with L.A. Elle at The Blue Marlin just walking distance from my domicile in an area of the city I affectionately refer to as Little, Little Tokyo. This stretch of pavement is flanked by myriad noodle houses and boba establishments as well as some very cool shops that sell a range of items from hipster threads to Japanese language books and dvds (yes peeps, lots of Japanese craft books to be had). Catering to many of the Japanese exchange students at UCLA, this is a little slice of Tokyo right here on the Westside and we love it! Some of the highlights of the birthday stroll included clothing stores such as Anap and Black Market (which doubles as an art gallery oh btw), everything but the kitchen sink stores such as Giant Robot and its sequel, GR2 (also shows art), and of course every Japanese craft book aficionado would enjoy a perusal through Asahiya Bookstore. If you're in Los Angeles and you've yet to discover this part of town, come on over! You will not be disappointed.

Now let's do some pressie recap!

Ellen gave me gobs of crochet-related paraphenalia...

Natasha sent me a big ole box of yarn luv...

Jannikinz also sent me some yarn luv from Down Under (not for my birthday, but just because)...

Also received a very generous and welcome spa gift certificate and bath goodies from the marital unit and a lovely little beaded bracelet from my incredibly talented and bee-you-ti-ful offspring!

Am I lucky or what???

Thank you all for your lovely gifts, e-cards galore and well wishes! I am deeply touched and I feel so incredibly blessed to have you all in my life.

Monday, May 22, 2006

'Tis the Season

A new season of SAG screenings is upon us. Now, I realize that to many of you this factoid means little. And I must admit, if I were not married to this man I would be aboard your vessel. However, I am, in fact, married to the guy and he is a card-carrying member of SAG. Add to this mixture that notion that he's really into the free screening thang and you get a picture of my current predicament...companion to husband for said screenings. Try as I might to painlessly extricate myself from these actor-crammed engagements, I am oftentimes unsuccessful at this endeavor for whatever reason. Okay, so my reasons usually involve very important meetings with the Tidy Bowl Man and a very prickly brush. A girl’s got responsibilities you know! Sheesh.

Anyhow, those of you familiar with this here bloggity blog blog may recall posts of SAG screenings past and my reluctant immersion by association into “The Business”. The rest of you newer-bies should heretofore consider yourself officially initiated as you accompany me on my travels through a thespian-populated world that makes a 2” puddle on the street seem deeper than the darkest depths of the Atlantic Ocean for we are now entering the world of stage and screen where a good coif is paramount , curbing caloric intake is scientific method and carrying big ole boxes of headshots in your car is a form of religion. I digress.

Last eve, excuses were no match for the persistant calls of the free film titans. Nosirree! I thought I had made a successful escape when my daughter entered the living room and declared her father MIA thereby prohibiting her return to his domain for the evening. This statement also meant that there would be no need for me to drive her over there, thus making my alibi null and void. At her utterance the hubster then looks to me and says, “So, you both will be able to come with me to the screening tonight…”

To which I absent-mindedly replied, “Uh, yeah, I guess,” immediately feeling the depth and breadth of my faux pas.

I was ensnared in the trap with no hope of escape, so I put on a few of my worst duds that included an old AC/DC tee, hair coiffed in spastic Princess Leia-inspired buns sans make-up, grabbed my daughter and knitting bag and hopped in the car next to the happy hubs. We drove a couple of blocks to our destination…Sure, technically, the screening was close enough to our domicile that we could have easily walked, but this is Los Angeles people! Angelenos are to driving as birds are to flight. We love our cars and spend our entire lives driving around in our metal pods, distance be damned.

Upon arrival at screening central we were met with an ever-growing line made up of a gazillion troupers. This type of situation is generally where my low profile, grunge-inspired garb serves me well. I am anonymous in a crowd of crowd-pleasers…That is, until my loving mate opens his jaws, spilling forth verbiage, joining in the surrounding cacophony while simultaneously introducing me, wife of actor, dressed to less-than-the-nines, sporting spastic Princess Leia-style buns, wishing she were anywhere but there. I had no choice. At that point I could just smile politely, giggle in all the appropriate places and hope to hell the theater doors would open shortly allowing me to escape the din ringing in the latest auditions, how to achieve darker, bronze-r tans, sharing preferred methods of honing one’s craft and yes, my favorite, how fake everyone seems to be is in this town…Tidy Bowl Man, where are you when I need you???

Finally, this bun-donning Lady of the Linoleum was allowed refuge in the darkened theater and just in case, I strategically seated offspring between moi and spouse to deter more participation in actor-logue. Oh save yer snide remarks. I know, shameless…Whatever.

So, what were we there to see inquiring minds want to know?

The 23rd hour of 24 peeps!

Yes, that would be the first part of tonight’s season finale. Here’s what I have to say to all of you fellow 24-ites…Neener, neener, nee-ner!

So, uh yeah, just in case you’re wondering, it’s a cliffhanger…

Hey, at least there was some pay-off for my having to endure a thousand thespians.

Also, since this was an Emmy thang, Jack Bauer, President Logan and the First Lady were all in attendance for a Q&A following the sneak preview. Oh yes, what could be better than impromptu actor-logue preceeding a screening? Scheduled actor-logue succeeding a screening…you know, the kind with an open mic, myriad actors chomping at the bit to perform, err, I mean ask questions of other actors for a crowd of, yes, actors sitting before them?

Come to think of it, I believe there’s an entire cable show based upon this premise…

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Miss Kendra's Cabaret Chapeau

Miss Kendra's Cabaret Chapeau arose out of this conversation at the WeHo Stitch N' Bitch two meetings ago...

Miss Kendra: Faith, I want to make a hat for my trip to Vegas. How do I go about doing this?

LadyLinoleum: (I pipe up) What kind of hat?

Faith enters the meeting area at the Old Farmers Market and is plunking down her supplies for the evening onto our table. Faith is not only our SNB leader, but she is an accomplished milliner.

Miss Kendra: (motioning with her hands atop her head like she's holding said chapeau at a slight angle) You know, one of those little black cabaret hats with a netted veil.

LadyLinoleum: Oh, like a cigarette girl?

Miss Kendra: Yeah.

LadyLinoleum: (toward Faith) She needs buckram right?

Faith: Yes and you (turning to Miss Kendra) can get it in Downtown (LA).

Miss Kendra: What's buckram?

LadyLinoleum: (laughing) I'll make you the hat.

Miss Kendra: How?

LadyLinoleum: I'll crochet it of course and it won't look crocheted.

Miss Kendra: Is that a bad thing?

LadyLinoleum: No. I mean, you'll notice the hat, not the medium it was made from.

Miss Kendra: Will it stand up if it's crocheted?

LadyLinoleum and Faith: Absolutely.

Miss Kendra: Okay, you have until next Thursday.

Before leaving SNB I requested pictures from Miss Kendra of said dream hat. She sent these to my electronic post box the following day:

That weekend I sat down with size F hook and some shiny, sturdy and black Red Heart Super Saver to accomplish the task set before me. (Size F and worsted weight fiber makes a very strong structure, imho.)

Here's my version of the little black hat:

It's difficult to decipher in the picture, but I put a little wire in the brim for shaping as well as black velvet ribbon to finish it off. I will also state for the record that it took me longer to put the damn netting on this little diddy than it took me to crochet the entire thing!

Miss Kendra looking lovely in her new hat:

Now, the little missy above was adamant about the hat being black and shunned the thought of flowers or other adornment. So, since this one turned out so well I will be making more of them. And they will have color and maybe even a feather or two. Stay tuned.

Have fun in Vegas Missy!

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

My Bologna

My bologna has a first name. It's L-A-D-ee-Y.

My bologna has a second name. It's L-I-N-O-L-E-U-M. (Okay, there are more letters in Linoleum than Mayer. Work with me people!)

Oh, I love to wear it everyday and if you ask me why I'll saaaaay,

LadyLinoleum has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

Drumroll please...

Enter the Olive Loaf Shawl...In all of it's knitted AND crocheted glory!

I know what yer thinkin': She's lost it completely. First intarsia meat on a crocheted grill, then weenie links about the neck, now this! What's left?

Oh now, don't you worry your pretty little heads 'bout that because there is oh so much more lurking 'round the dark recesses of my gray matter. Muhahahaha!

Spam pants all around! Okay, maybe not...

Though, I must state for the record that I rather enjoy entering my LYS and asking the proprietors for bologna colored yarn. Their reaction? Priceless.

Anyhow, after sufficiently torturing the poor people behind the counter at my LYS with such a question, I made the decision to knit this shawl as opposed to crocheting it because I find that knitted fabric drapes better. Second, I needed to decide whether to add the olive slices into the piece using intarsia or to add them on later as appliques. After a bit of back and forth I chose to applique the olive elements for two reasons: (i) I did not want to see the wrong side of the intarsia on the shawl and (ii) I wanted the olive slices to have a three-dimensional quality. So in the end, I chose to crochet (more dimensionality than knitting and no dpns needed) the olives and sew them on later.

To finish off this wearable half slice of yarn-based bologna luuv, I crocheted a skin along the outer edge.

Ta-Da! Bologna Couture. Yes. It. Is.

Knit AND Crochet Stats
Yarn: Cascade 220
Needles: Size 9, 40" circ.
Hook: Size F
Pattern: Me, Myself & I

Another meaty yet fashionable accessory for Project Wrongway!

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Crochet Wings Pattern Now Available!

Don't you think Mom would love her very own pair of wings for Mother's Day?

Okay, maybe not. Should you want to create a pair nonetheless, you can purchase the pattern here. My hubby likes 'em and is modeling them here.

Stay tuned knitters. Your version will be available soon!

Happy Mother's Day!

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Trolling for Yarn

Before hearing back from the publisher about whether my design(s) would be accepted or shunned for their new crochet tome, I contacted Rio de la Plata Yarns (creators of the “heated coals” wool that I used for the Mixed Grill Wrap) to see if they would perhaps like to sponsor little ole me should I, in fact, be selected as one of the designers for said text. I know, jumping the gun. Whatever. Call me an opportunist, but the thought of acquiring free yarn is like winning the lottery. Okay, not really, but you get the picture. Anyway, aside from the occasional fluffy yarn-y goodness type of ROAK that I receive from various blogging buds, I am usually pulling out the wallet to get my fiber-crack fix. Now, this little factoid doesn’t prevent me from enhancing my stash in any way. Oh no! I spend lots of dinero on yarn. LadyLinoleum is always fiber-filled. I digress.

At any rate, a potential publishing deal is definitely opportunity loudly wrapping at my door. So, I emailed the guys at Rio de la Plata, inquiring as to their interest in sponsorship, and was met with a, “Sure, c’mon down and pick up what you need!” Fortunately for me, the offices of Rio de la Plata are on the Westside, my digs. Easy to get to during one’s cube farm lunch hour.

Let me backup a bit here. Some of you may not know this about me, but I have perfected the art of yarn shopping on my lunch hour. Oh yes, I can get to and from any number of yarn establishments in West Los Angeles, Santa Monica or Culver City from my office in Century City in just under an hour, making my lunch hours calorie free yet full of fiber! Now those expeditions require me to shell out lots and lots of clams for said wooly wares, which by the way doesn’t stop me from taking this type-o-lunch several (and I mean numerous) times per month. Hey, my job sucks. Yarn shopping during my lunch hour is like a huge dose of fluffy furry vicodin for my poor, unfortunate, overworked soul. I’m just saying.

Anyhoo, this lunch hour yarn-run was altogether different. This time I was going to pick up freebies and I was about to find out the location of a font of yarn goodness. Peeps, it just doesn’t get much better than this. Or does it? Read on…

So, I went downstairs to pick up the other known fiber-crack addict in the office, my creative cohort Briana, to accompany me on said yarn jaunt. We drove pedal-to-the-metal to a rather strange looking late 90’s po-mo, cinder block/multicolored concrete, industrial knock-off style commercial/residential complex on the Western edges of the City of Santa Monica where upon entry we were ushered through a maze of hallways, flights of stairs, exposed air ducts, myriad glass block and buffed concrete floors by a wide-eyed, fifty-something, gregarious, very honey-blonded, slightly Stepfordesque receptionist to the sliding front door that marked the entrance to the offices of my new yarn pimp. The purple offices of my new yarn pimp. With gold sofas. And glass top tables. No, I am not kidding. Briana was speechless. I, on the other hand, am quite comfortable in most environments even the purple, gold, glass variety and have been known to entertain myself in conversation with walls, even if they are a lovely shade of electric plum. And anyway, I was a woman on a mission. A free yarn mission to be exact. I would not be deterred, grape-ade walls or no.

Enter the yarn dudes. Two very cordial men of the strand, so to speak. Actually, only Mauricio (fearless leader of the Rio de la Plata empire I believe) spoke to us at length. The other yarn dude just stuck his hand up in the air in greeting then continued to tap away at his keyboard pretending that we didn’t pierce a hole in his purple-y mist. Okay by me.

After a couple of minutes of conversation with Mauricio he informed me that they are looking for a local designer to help them promote their threads. Only, get this, they want someone who has an unusual sensibility. Briana assured the nice yarn boys that I, in fact, am a designer with a very unusual sensibility. So, I gave them my website addy, Mauricio bagged up my wondrous wool and we said we’d keep in touch.

I haven’t heard from him.

Mr. Mauricio may be beyond horrified that I turned his luxurious fluffdom into hot coals. Hey, he said he was looking for unusual! Do you think he may have been shocked by weenie links and intarsia meat on a grill???

Sunday, May 07, 2006


Unfortunately for my husband, he was the only one present this afternoon to model my new wings (if being my spokesmodel doesn't force him out into the job market, I don't know what will) bottle fly wings in cape form to be specific. Aren't they neato???

Just look at that wool! It's a lovely colorway scored from this seller on Ebay. Their variegated yarns are really spectacular. Take a look at these and these.

Also notice the way I designed the wings themselves. I wanted each wing to look as if emanated from a central line or core. I was able to capture this look through increasing and decreasing at the center of the rows as opposed to the ends thereby making a chevron shape (similar to that in ripple or wave patterns). They look very leaf-like. Definitely organic. I evened out the initial chevron by introducing short rows. Pretty darn cool.

At the top of each wing I used some of the Koigu Deneen (Deneen love your new blog-look!) sent me to crochet a casing. Voila! Wings fit for any bipedal creature.

I will be making this pattern available to all eventually. Yes, I know. I always say that! Heck, if I could just make a living making this stuff, my pattern writing would move along much quicker. Currently I am converting this pattern to knitting as I hope to offer both versions, yes, eventually.

Crochet Stats

Yarn: Jojoland fingering wool in azure blue, rose wine (color no. 7-y46)
Hook: D
Pattern: Me, myself and I

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Collaborative Luuvv

Like that title eh? Yes, I know it 'tis a bit sketchy, but nonetheless illustrative of my new creative collaborative venture since the adjournment of the always eventful and highly successful Evolution of the Doll confederacy. For those of you not familiar with this series of objets d'art made by some very talented chickadees (including your Lady of the Linoleum) take a looksee at the website and a my past posts/presentations of the girls, boys, eunuchs, weird winged caterpillar thingies...Did I mention that there was much imbibing during our monthly meetings? Um, yeah.

Hey Doll! Homepage

The Dolls:

Be Mine
Deep Shockra
Helga On Wheels
The Babysitter

At any rate, the Hey Doll! experience was so successful that we decided to keep on truckin' and undertake another project. However, there was just a bit of housekeeping that needed to happen before the onset of work.

Firstly, we had a group make-over. No not the spa treatment kind, though that would've been nice after installing the last gallery show. Instead, for various reasons not the least of which included pregnancy, half of our group (six out of twelve) headed for the exit sign and no amount of bribery would deter them. So, we bade the drop-outs farewell and plodded onward with a new project in mind and a HUGE LACK OF SYNERGY due to such a small number of collaborators remaining. At that point our leaner, but not meaner group set fingers to the keyboard, made phone calls galore and schmoozed the heck out of our contacts in search of the "right" people. Despite a bit of participant trial and error we've now got a healthy group of twelve creative cohorts ready to get to work!

Secondly, some of the core members of the group (there are a few of us who lean toward control freakage) felt that we needed to review and possibly rehab the logistics of the upcoming process based upon the things that we learned while working on the dolls. Now, let me back up a bit here. Our little coven of creative chickadees makes work in round robin fashion. Meaning everyone works on every piece. It's all about trust, surrender, respect...blah, blah, blah. It's also a process which is rooted in surprise, discovery and quite simply, freedom. None of us had ever worked this way before. Personally, I found that working in a round robin forced me to open my mind and forget about any preconceptions I may have had about a particular piece because when a doll left my studio for someone else's I had no idea how dramatic or unexpected the changes would be. It's a pretty amazing experience, to say the least.

At any rate, round robin-ing rocked, but critique (a crucial aspect of the academics of making) just didn't happen. Therefore, the control freaks and the larger group made a pact. No matter how hammered we get at our monthly meetings, we still must have critical dialog about the work being made.

So, new group "look"(5 painters, 3 sculptors myself included, 1 mixed media artist, 1 glass artist, 1 filmmaker, 1 extraordinarily creative kid who happens to be my offspring)...check, new energy...check, new process...check, new project...check. What are we making, inquiring minds want to know? GAMES!

Yes, peeps, games. Board games, memory games, R-P-G's. Carnival games, video games (uh, maybe not), games of prophecy! Let's take a look at a few of our infant contributions shall we?

We got yer basic colorful grid who aspires to be a Risk type-o-game when it grows up.

Looks harmless enough right? Well, the benign-looking board below is actually a scavenger hunt fabrication that taunts it's players with nefarious confabulations of verbiage. And as if that wasn't enough, teams of players must then go forth, seek said confabulations and document them. Okey dokey. Did I tell you that we drink lots of wine at these meetings?

Direct from the lounge on some distant spacestation...

Ooooh, glass runes for divining events to come...

Along with a trusty Gom Jabbar!

And finally toys for tarts!

You've got to admit, these here game pieces do look a teensy weensy bit phallic...

Lucky for you peeps, we are at the beginning of this project. So much more to come. Who knows what will transpire over the succeeding months. However, of this you can be sure...there will be drinkin'. There will be laughin'. And apparently there will be games that are not child appropriate...

Monday, May 01, 2006

I need a new job...

I kissed the ground beneath my feet upon arrival at LAX yesterday peeps, having had up-to-the-eyeballs-enough of Lost Wages. There is only so much drinkin', carousin' and conference-in' this Lady of the Linoleum can handle. I mean c'mon, five full days spent with 200 plus bankers in 90 degree plus heat is like spending five full days with 200 plus bankers in 90 degree plus heat...No analogy needed...

I did do some serious crocheting though...despite the bazillion bankers...the endless hours...and the imbibing...I am literally detoxing as I write this. Yeah, I know, my job sounds real tough. Las Vegas, Vodka, expense account. Whatever. It's banking and therefore it's boring. Martinis (doesn't matter how many I forced down) don't change that fact.

So, I'm back. Feeling a bit disconnected from the Life Craftique, but ready to jump into the swing of things, scissors poised, hook at the ready, hanks of yarn calling me back to the fold. Speaking of which, while toiling away in the desert I received an email from an editor at a well known publishing house alerting me to the fact that my designs had been accepted for a new crochet book in the works. Wooo Hooo! Maybe, just maybe, I will eventually be able to extricate myself from the Life Banktique. Keep yer digits crossed!

In addition to my upstart career as a budding crochet designer (yeah right), I've got tons of FO's to show and much news regarding my new collaborative adventure that began after ending the doll round robin fandango. Can you all say board games? Oh yes, this should be an interesting collaboration to be sure. Look for a whole post devoted to a bunch of drunk artists attempting to make board games in round robin fashion that are actually playable (while sober).

Stay tuned! Games and knitted/crocheted bologna-inspired accessories to be had in the near future. I know, you don't often hear the words bologna, knit and crochet in the same phrase...