Arrrggghhh!

Love this kind of stuff...

My pirate name is:

Mad Jenny Bonney

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Bri and I tape our last episode of Uncommon Threads tomorrow! Keep yer digits crossed that everything goes smoothly!

Wearable Web - Pattern Available!

Here's the disco version (and my pattern tester) of the Wearable Web modeled by one of my cube-mates, Tiffany! Coordinating colors purely coincidental.





The pattern is now available on my website AND right here as well! Just scroll down my sidebar to purchase. Going forward I will list patterns (freebies and not-so-freebies) in both locations for your convenience.

Writing up Dem Bones next.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderfully supportive and engaging comments!

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Dem Bones

You know I'm on an early roll with the Halloween-themed crochet and knitwear this year. Speaking of which, I pattern-tested the web this weekend and will write the pattern up today or tomorrow. Stay tuned...

Today however, I'm showing y'all a scarf that I originally designed for Uncommon Threads, but decided to pull it from the episode, Creepy Crochet, (which will tape this Friday) as their format has changed and this thingie ended up being waaay too complex. So, without further ado take a looksee at the latest and greatest in neck attire, Dem Bones!





Notice the "marrow" that allows the bones to "break" around your neck??? And how 'bout them jagged edges???







Yep, your Lady of the Linoleum is mired in detail (even if it causes me permanent paralysis of the hand). Worked entirely in cotton (Lamb's Pride Cotton Fleece for the bones and Reynolds Saucy for the marrow) and an F hook, this baby is the perfect accessory for the dark evenings of October!

Now, if I hear from you guys that this is a must make for the Halloween Season, I will write it up as I've already pattern-tested the, um, bone-er. I'm warning you though, this Project Wrongway accessory is a classic example of a PITA (pain in the...err...rear) if there ever was one. So, BEWARE. Don't tell me I didn't warn you as you whittle away your evenings with skeins of cotton, hook and myriad curse words for this obtuse pattern in tow.

Lots more ghoulish delights coming your way soon! Currently, I am working on another eyeballed creation, a bloody implement scarf (part of a series I'm calling Slasher Film Chic...I know twisted...whatever) and will soon start on an accessory inspired by Freddy Krueger (also part of Slasher Film Chic)!

Can you tell I grew up in the 80's?

Copyright 2006 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Fiber Festivities

Firstly I must tell you that the Cube Farm has been keeping me mighty busy this week. My apologies for such a long stretch with no post! I won't even share with you how many unread posts I have in my bloglines. It's staggering. Really.

Moving right along...

The older I get the more I seem to crave sitting around on my rear for umpteen hours making stuff. Further, as I age I also find myself spending more moola on yarn, fabric (no tulle cracks please) and other crafty sooplies, rather than blowing my wad on clothes and cosmetics. (I still bust the bank when it comes to shoe purchases however...some things will never change.) Anyhow, finding like minded chickadees who've developed similar habits? Priceless.

So what's a girl with a yarn encrusted heart to do with plenty of free from the Cube Farm hours on a Saturday afternoon? Feel up yards upon yards of yarn with the girlfriends at The Fabulous Fiber Fest!



I know! Cool, huh?

We're all just yarn junkies looking for the ultimate fuzzy high. Much to be had on that front I might add...

Ooooooh!



Ahhhhhh!



But that's not all! After many hours (and I do mean MANY consecutive hours coping feels) we addicts left the beach adjacent festivius fibrous for ChezLinoleum where we finished off the day buried beneath our purchases, experimenting heavily with our new, eh, paraphenalia, late into the evening. Oh yes, much roving was inhaled last Saturday.

Just take a look at the mayhem!

Yes, needle-felted aliens do have jazz hands.



Hey, those who inhale roving are truly wild by nature. (They are also prone to sinusitis, but that's another post.)

Other highlights of the day included a wall full of fiber-based ATC's...





Spinning wheels galore...



Quite a few quilts...



Jumbles of jewelry...



Babes making bobbin lace...



A couple of alpacas...



Do you think one of these guys would be happy living on my balcony? Nah, I didn't think so either.

And rounding out the high and the lights is a bikini knit from someone's pet Pomeranian's fur!



Um, yeah.

Thank you Miss Kendra, Uccellina and LenaLinoleum for our Saturday fun-fest!

In other news...

To my surprise, Monster Crochet has been nominated for a blog award. I know that this is shameless, but would you guys go vote for me? I know, I'm pathetic. Whatever. Just go vote! Thank you! Love you! Mean it!

Promise I won't let the Cube Farm keep me from posting again soon! I mean puuu-lease, not being able to blog from work because of too much work is just wrong...I hope my boss isn't reading this.

Wearable Web

In between the step-out madness, I've been able to tackle a few projects that have been poking around the recesses of my cerebrum waiting for their chance to take form.

Wonder Twin Powers ACTIVATE! (Okay, so I'm dating myself with that reference. Whatever.) Form of a wearable web!

A what?!?!

A wear-a-ble WEB!



Crocheted from lace-weight mohair in an ethereal blue, this baby is the latest in disfunctional garb to grace the annals of apparel gone askew, better known as Project Wrongway! Attach this nascent netting to your sleeve with one a curly-legged spider pin and you have yourself an accessory that's sure to engender much witty webby conversation (or laughter)...



Better pic of the arachne pin...



Now, I am aware that I am not an arachnologist and my spideys lack a certain anatomical correctness. Peeps I'm good, but I'm not that good...However, your input, insights and suggestions with regard to my spidey mutant-ness are always welcome and appreciated!



Anyway, this here webby is definitely a first draft. I'd really love to make one in a semi-circle shape, but until I've time to tackle another version this one is a decent first crack at the mesh phenomena.

Stay tuned for more webs and wonders because October is creeping 'round the corner. Much more to behold has we enter the official season of Monster Crochet!

Chapeau Evolved

Who knew that something made on a whim could have such an impact? The object in question has gone beyond it's mere made-for-Vegas roots. In fact, a version of said object will soon be featured on Uncommon Threads and yet another version will hit your newsstands in Spring 2007!

What the heck am I rambling on about now? Well Miss Kendra's Hat of course!

In the beginning there was acrylic and CHEAP tulle...





I'm ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille...

All grown up in in green wool and slightly more expensive tulle...



And now this little diddy has completely interchangeable accessories with absolutely no tulle at all!



(Check out the happening Pringles-can-wrapped-in-scarf hat display.)

Accessory numero uno! A spider web netting...





Complete with black widow spider pins for easy attachment to chapeau!



Wait there's more!

Accessory numero dos...

A whittle birdie pin for when your feeling a little less goth and the need to spread your wings!



And finally still feeling flighty, yet in an oh so delicate way?

No problem. Pin on accessory numero tres...

The dragonfly!



I know, I know! You were thinking steaks and eyeballs for accessories. I tried to sell the idea to the publisher. I really did! However, they were really looking for accessories more appealing to the general public.

Sheesh! No accounting for taste...

Crochet Stats
Yarn: Plymouth Galway Worsted for the hat and Encore D.K. for the accessories
Hooks: G for the hat and E for the accessories
Pattern Design: c'est moi
Pattern Availability: Spring 2007 - mag name to be devulged later!

2006 Copyright Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Muchas Gracias

As I sat bedridden (or floor-ridden really) for the past three days due to serious back pain, feeling a little like a crocheting Frida Kahlo sans brow, I deflected the torturous recurring spasms with thoughts of the myriad blessings that have been bestowed upon me, your mostly humble Yoda of Yarn (Miss Kendra's nickname for me). Cycling through a plethora of images and anecdotal happenings shared with loving husband, amazing daughter, friends and familia galore soothed the malaise that defined my weekend. The offspring too offered her ministrations, hardly leaving my side, laying prostrate in solidarity, crocheting as well as becoming an apt pupil of two sticks, making sure that my heating pad was just so and that I lacked for nothing. Really, the girl is positively a dream! At any rate, between offspring's and hubby's efforts, I couldn't have asked for a more, err, um, pleasurable period of pain. Smoochies of thanks to both the DD and DH!

In the spirit of thanks, I have a few more to administer to those who've sent me gifties from far and wide!

Thank you Rebecca for sending me your Mato!

Mikail Mato that is...



Muchas gracias Andrea for such an inspirational tome...



I know that I'm loved when blogging buddies send me books on how to nuke poultry. Gotta love that!

Merci to Bri for this faboo meat emblazoned flannel...



Are you sensing a theme? Just wait until you see the next item(s)...

Oh yeah! Grazie to Miss Kendra for these amazing bacon and eggs pasties!



C'mon, you know you want a pair.

And finally, danke to Jimbo for easing my debilitating case of crochet hand due to much playing with thread with yet another fabulous shipment of hooks...



You guys rock! Smoochies all around!

Mini Martha Living

My greatest pleasure of this summer has not been crocheting caboodles of little top hats, doilies, pumpkins and eyeballs for my stint on cable television. Nor has it been designing new items for various upcoming publications. Don't get me wrong, having the opportunity to crochet and knit my heart out for public consumption is pretty darn cool, but it doesn't hold a candle to watching my tween-age daughter's creativity blossom mightily!

For the last couple of months whereas I've been plagued with making more of the same, my offspring has been blowing the sides off of the proverbial box, wielding hook and yarn as if she's been doing so since birth creating myriad items at a pace that leaves her mom in the dust! I mean take a look at the stuff she's designing...



*LOVE* the chenille bowtie!

This fabulously talented one just mastered crocheting in the round, creating this amazing cloche AND she even figured out how to construct a rose for embellishment...



Finger knitted scarf anyone? Lena made a bazillion! I am not at all dismayed by her finishing off my plethora of single leftover skeins either...



Not to mention the girl's been further honing her skills as an adept sculptor...



And as if this weren't enough, she cooks and bakes too!



It's like living with a Mini Martha...

Me? Proud? You betcha!

Uncommon Threads: Episode One

Sorry for the time lapse between posts, but I was busy playing low budget crafty cable teevee star dahlings!

From the final minute preparations which began last Friday evening upon my arrival home from yet another grueling day at the Cube Farm, lots and lots of shopping fer new duds, a mani-pedi of course, cataloging, compiling and packaging up all of our step-outs for the show, to yesterday's 15 hour waiting, rehearsing, waiting, taping, waiting, photographing extravaganza (including early morning beauty substructure and travel to and from studio), I'm literally and figuratively, exhausted. However, can I tell you how freakin' cool it is to have the name of your blog/website carefully crafted on some happy and helpful production assistant's pc, printed out on another happy and helpful production assistant's laser, then pinned onto your dressing room door by yet another happy and helpful production assistant? That alone was worth all the effort put forth to get there.

Did I say happy and helpful enough above? I just want to reiterate how damn nice and sweet and complimentary and helpful and just well, wow, everyone was to Bri and me. If fact, the two of us were so drunk with love for our producers, director, crew and of course the genuinely good-natured and talented host of Uncommon Threads that the hideously 80's southwest-y dressing room decor replete with only THE best motel art available didn't bother us one bit!



It wasn't all glamorous though, believe you me. We worked our boo-tays off. Our day at the studio was both physically and mentally demanding. In fact, I believe that I may have a permanent case of Barbie feet. Not to mention the fact that my cheeks are sore from the incessant smiling. Then there is the fact that my right hand has metastasized into a size F crochet hook. Hell, at least that's useful, unlike THE BARBIE FEET. Oh, and I still believe I have a layer of foundation and powder on my face. I guess the stucco sponge I used last evening wasn't as effective as I would have liked.

With all that said, I'm pretty sure that I can speak for Bri as well myself when I tell you that despite the fact that we crafty chicas will be washing the base build-up from our faces for weeks to come, Bri and I gained a huge wealth of wisdom and experience by allowing ourselves to be a part of this process. The road to tube crochet was fraught with fear and anxiety. At times we found ourselves standing wearily atop the precipice of tears waving about our digits crippled from too much crochet. However, none of it proved insurmountable. We soldiered on, hands cramped, surviving and I venture, even thriving out there on the highly lit, energy infused set of Uncommon Threads, which was truly surreal.

Each and every time the Director spoke the word go we amplified our smiles and seemingly effortlessly led the cast and crew through our process of making. It was as if a puppet master was controlling the strings attached to my fingers and a witty and intelligent voiceover artist was detailing the thaumaturgy of the Monster Crochet process as I made my way through the step-outs of Miss Kendra's Cabaret Chapeau and the magical process that we've all come to know as blocking, all the time engaged in chatty conversation with Allison and Bri. I too watched in awe as Bri taught us to filet crochet, the puppet master guiding her skillfully about the hopscotch of mesh and blocks without a glitch. It was wondrous, a little bizarre and dare I say it, amazingly fun! Two hours of taping and we completed all that was needed for editing down to a 22 minute exhibition of cable crochetdom. Rounds of hugs, kisses on the cheeks and many a thank you were uttered upon completion.

Bri and I left the studio for the evening feeling utterly exhausted, yet oddly energized. We didn't speak much as we traversed the freeways home, but were in monosyllabic agreement that yes, we should feed our faces and imbibe margaritas. Holding our frosty cocktails in the air, still suffering from gratuitous grinning and feet ala Barbie, we toasted our crafty accomplishments and settled into hot steaming plates of tacos, rice and beans all the while knowing that we've still one show left to prepare for, but nonetheless content in the day's accomplishments. And I'll tell ya, it just doesn't get much better than that.

The Tulle Incident

I spent $200 on tulle last Saturday.

I did.

Really.

C'mon! I couldn't make something that absurd up. Truth is much more disturbing than fiction you know.

Want to hear the best part?

In the end, I probably only used $2 worth of the tulle from this extravagant lesson.

Yes, really.

Heretofore this shall be known as THE TULLE INCIDENT!

Let me set the scene for you...

Purpose for Obtaining Vast Amounts of Tulle:

Finishing off pieces for upcoming Uncommon Threads episodes.

Location:

International Silks and Woolens

Cast:

Briana - A celebrity patron at International as evidenced by each and every salesperson greeting her as she enters the door with many a hey-how-have-you-been type of salutation.

LadyLinoleum - Your hostess with the mostess who apparently thinks she's made of money upon entrance to any neighborhood fabric arsenal.

LenaLinoleum - LadyLinoleum's lovely offspring who can sometimes be as vexing as she is creative.

Act 1: The Notions Department

(Rummaging through myriad feather collections in Notions) Bri, don't let me leave without tulle or some sort of netting. I don't have the time nor the inclination to come back [famous last words].

(From the other side of Notions, standing before a counter strewn with a bazillion buttons) Oh don't worry honey, we'll get tulle.

Can I get some tulle?

What are you going to use it for?

I don't know. What is tulle anyway?

It's a kind of netting. No, you are not getting any tulle.

(Sighs heavily) Fine.

(Shouts across Notions while fondling ribbon with little regard for the other patrons or salespeople - Hey, I was on a mission!) Velvet ribbon, Bri? I don't think grosgrain will work.

(Head emerges from beneath enormous mountain of buttons) Definitely velvet.

Can I get some velvet ribbon?

What are you going to use it for?

Um, for one of the purses I am planning to make?

Nice try. We have a huge bin of ribbons and trim at home at your disposal.

(Sighs even more heavily) I never get to get anything.

Whatever Lena. (Facing Bri) I think I have everything I need from here. Let's go look at the tulle.

(Piping up) Why do I need to go with you? It's not like I get to get any.

(Ignores offspring) Bri, are you coming?

(Standing atop mountain of buttons like a conqueror, hands cupping her spoils) Yes. Hey, come over here and tell me whether you think I need these buttons.

(Walks over to what has become Bri's Button World and scans potentials) Yep, I would get them if I were you. I mean, how can you NOT get them? You'll be sorry if you don't buy them.

I know! Okay, now let's go look at tulle.

(The entire cast prepares to leave Notions)

(Eyeing a basket of woven tags) Before we go downstairs can I get these tags?

What are you going to use them for?

I am going to sew them into the bags and onto scarves that I've been making.

Okay, you can get 'em.

(Perks up) Finally!

Act 2: The Fabric Department

(Leading the way across vast fabric filled floor to Tulle Row) Over here girls!

(Many ooohs and aaaahs ensue as does the statement, "I need this", without, ahem, regard for price. You'd think we were fabric establishment rookies or something...Jeesh!)

(After much searching, tulle decisions made) Okay, I think I have what I need. Going to the cutting table!

(Following LadyLinoleum to the cutting table and talking the entire time to anyone who'll listen while fondling various fabrics) Oooooh, I would look so good in this...Oh my god this one would make a great bag...Mommie, can I get some of this?

Lena, we have a huge inventory of fabric at home that you can slice and dice to your heart's content.

Okay! I just don't understand why you are torturing me like this!

(Meets the Linoleums at the cutting table with her bolts in tow) How much of the tulle do we need?

A yard should be enough, but I'm getting two of each.

Of course you are.

(After cutting my soon to be newly acquired netted stash the fabric slasher saleslady asks if I'd looked at the prices on the bolts) Well, ahhh, no. It's tulle. How much could it be?

[Picture Fabric Slasher Saleslady Here] This one is $49.50 per yard. This one is $24.99 per yard. This one is $14 per yard. I'm sorry, I should have confirmed the prices with you before cutting.

(Feeling like a COMPLETE IDIOT) um, yeah, no worries. (Starts sweating profusely)

Are you going to be okay?

(Says weakly) Yeah, I think so.

Wow, now I know why you aren't going to buy me anything. That stuff is REALLY EXPENSIVE Mom!

Conclusion:

Payback's a b*%$#...