Wednesday, August 31, 2005

VLA Booty Continues...

Hey, it's me!

Up here guys!

Ahem, that's better. Hi all! Your friendly neighborhood Bell Pepper here, BBP to my friends. Bludgeoning Bell Pepper Sir to everyone else! Tonight we Veggie Recruits are coming to you from Ms. Linoleum's Super Secret Veggie Lounge where any Vegetable can enjoy a bit of R&R on the sofa, watch a little cable, eat some junk food and catch a little shut-eye free from threat or attack.

Anyway, the guys asked me to MC tonight's presentation of VLA supplies generously donated to us by our good friend and VLA supporter, Jessica! Big round of applause to this amazing crafty philanthropist from Ohio!!!

Just look at the stuff she sent to us!

Like camo netting! Amazing how it disguises our hideout huh? I mean you can hardly even tell it's there. Really, it looks totally invisible to the naked eyeball. It does too!

Moving right along...There's ole Roadkill and Tossed Salad enjoying the phenomenal bench and bed Jessica made, as you can see.

The guys cheered BIG TIME when we opened the box and saw these items...

There just isn't enough squeezable butter, or hell, pvc turkeys, on the face of this planet to satisfy the desires of this Bell Pepper. Jessica, you are a Godsend!

And for your culinary pleasures...

This isn't that junky Calphalon stuff either. This is genuine-imitation-plastic-cast-iron-look ware. Yep, you betcha. Emeril, move ov-va! BAM! BBP is in DA HOUSE and I am goin' show you who is the chef 'round here!

Um, yeah. Anyway, Jessica also sent us a few of these cool badges.

Jessica, are you psychic? How did you know that we Veggies LOVE shiny metal objects? Amazing. Here, Raging Red Cabbage models one of the ab fab badges...

And last but certainly not least, Jessica saw fit to send us what every Veggie start-up coalition needs...MONEY! And lots of it!

And a safe to stow it away...

That human woman is definitely a Veggie in her heart and soul. Another big round of applause for Jessica!

Only one more shipment of loot to show you all...stay tuned!

Monday, August 29, 2005

Tagged Again!

And away we go with another meme. Katy, this one's for you!

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Ride a horse to the pyramids at Giza with my hubby.
2. Crochet a pirate ship.
3. Take the LOTR tour of New Zealand (I know, I'm a dork).
4. Write & publish a book.
5. Exhibit my work in a major museum.
6. Create a television show.
7. Learn a second language.

7 things I can do:
1. Make art.
2. Make a Thanksgiving meal that looks like it jumped from the pages of Gourmet magazine.
3. Live life in the moment.
4. Untangle any knotted yarn mess.
5. Mix any paint color.
6. Give my opinion to anyone, anywhere, anytime (aka The Dogma According To Regina).
7. Teach.

7 things I cannot do:
1. Live completely debt-free.
2. Live "off the grid".
3. Forget the potato chip.
4. Meditate. (I'm serious. I wish that I could.)
5. Live without pets.
6. Love my job.
7. Be cruel to others.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Sense of humor.
2. Self-sufficiency.
3. Creativity.
4. Intelligence.
5. Tall.
6. Dark.
7. Rugged.

7 things that I say most often:
1. Dude.
2. Like.
3. Oh, my, God.
4. Yeah.
5. The F-word.
6. Awesome.
7. You're high.

Yes, my speech proves that I am vintage Southern California.

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Johnny Depp
2. Frylock
3. Viggo Mortensen
4. Terence Stamp
5. Alan Rickman
6. Omar Shariff
7. Alain Delon

The 7 bucks stop here. I'm not going to tag anyone.

Next post: more VLA mail!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Evolution of the Doll - Ballerinasaurus

18 Months
2 Gallery Shows
And A Gazillion Bottles of Wine...
Evolution of the Doll!

This Week's Doll Star: Ballerinasaurus!

Um yeah, she's part ballerina, part mother in labor (???), part Tyrannosaurus Rex...No, I'm NOT drunk!

Base Artist: Bee

Artist Background: Fiber, collage artist and educator. Bee is a wonderful craftswoman and resource. I owe much of my knowledge of fiber processes to her tutelage while an undergrad in college.

Round Two Artist: Stacy

Evolutionary Change: Like that hoop skirt wasn't enough??? Anyhoo, ceramic legs are just the right touch to make this blond diva want to BOOGIE!

Round Three Artist: Stevie

Evolutionary Change: Straight from the pages of Weekly World News, MOTHER GIVES BIRTH TO HER OWN HEAD!

Round Four Artist: Stephanie

Evolutionary Change: Adding a little 80's touch to the wardrobe means slashin' that skirt to expose the Madonna-esque netting. Sorry everyone, no good detail pics of this addition. You are just going to have to imagine the transformation.

Round Five Artist: Janet

Evolutionary Change: Wait, another update from the pages of Weekly World News...MOTHER WHO GAVE BIRTH TO OWN HEAD GROWS NEW REPTILIAN HEAD! If you choose to read further you will also find out that this pregnant reptilian-headed female has also ripped the head off of her husband. Yes. She. Did. Look there is a painting of the incident to prove it!

Round Six Artist: Dyane

Evolutionary Change: Soundtrack! Sorry peeps no pic of the mini tape recorder and believe me when I say this...Thank your lucky stars that I didn't include the sound file for this transformation in this post. Let's just say the "music" in question (and I use the term music loosely) is a kind of Star Trek theme meets a drunken Julee Cruise (remember the Twin Peaks theme?) ballad type of extravaganza. Like I said, scary.

Round Seven Artist: LadyLinoleum

Evolutionary Change: The mother-in-law. A reptilian glove puppet serves as the MIL in question. Just in case you thought that pink poofy dress donning reptile was goin' out in her toe shoes to paint the town, um, err, PINK, without any regard for her condition...enter the opinionated MIL with a few harsh words for her dear DIL.

Round Eight Artist: Jonna

Evolutionary Change: Oh yeah, the weirdness just doesn't seem to ebb at all with this dolly now does it? So far we've discovered that our heroine is a reptilian-headed, murderous, pregnant gal with an annoying mother-in-law. Well, she's also the lead dancer at a local club! Not only does this scaly diva drag her pregnant belly to the club every night for her show (read: ripping the head off of Ricky in a bloody rage means Lucy is free to be in the show), but she can also slip back and forth through time if she's at all bored. Did I lose you all yet??? Are you still with me??? Um, yeah, NOT drunk...I can assure you.

The quote at the bottom of the poster reads, "Never has anything so wrong been so right."

Round Nine Artist: Laurel

Evolutionary Change: Why not add some velvet curtains to that err, interesting painting of body-free husband and use it as a backdrop for our lovely yet scaly pink poofy star's nightly performances at the club? And you all thought Lorena Bobbitt was vindictive...

Round Ten Artist: Bea

Evolutionary Change: The Rexettes! Of course there is a chorus line...

Gallery View!

Oh yeah peeps, this dolly is a real goodie is it not? Would you believe that this doll was the hit of our gallery shows? Lots of twisted people out there I tell ya...

Two down, Eleven more to come!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Cheaper Than Therapy

Guess who has an essay in Annie Modesitt's new book Cheaper Than Therapy??? Yep, you guessed it! Yours truly, Regina Gonzalez (known far and wide to you all as LadyLinoleum). Crazy Aunt Purl (Laurie Perry) and Drew are also a contributors! Book goes on sale on September 3rd. You can order it on Amazon or from Annie's website.

I am soooooo excited!!! Wooo Hooo!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Two Tags, One Meme

I love you all, but man, the memes!

Okay, this meme-ola satifies both tags bestowed upon me by Jessi and Beth:

If you want to participate the chain-letter part works like this: remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog's name in the #5 spot; just check to make sure the links are still attached if you copy n' paste.

1) Yea, I knit...
2) Yarn Obsession
3) Yarns and Musings
4) Addicted To Crochet
5) Monster Crochet

Five Things I Miss From Childhood:

1) Going shopping and to lunch with my mother, my maternal grandmother and my younger sister, Stephanie, every Wednesday during our summer vacations from grade school.
2) School House Rock
3) Viewing the world with a fresh lens.
4) Going to Carmel, CA with my mom, dad and sister EVERY SINGLE SUMMER for vacation.
5) Hearing my dad's laughter.

I'm not going to tag anyone and bad luck seems to be my theme for this year, so what's a little more???

If anyone else tagged me and I've forgotten, just let me know!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Mail Call: The Flat Sequel

Hiya folks! Most of ya critters out there already know me. Fer those of ya who've been hidin' under a rock or the tire of a truck like myself *hehehe* I'd like ta makes my introductions. I'm RoadKill Korn, utherwise known as Father Flat er The Ole Flat Dude, as the kiddies likes to call me, in the Vegetable Liberation Army. They's yunguns have eeee-lected me ta present ta ya, ya Veggie-lovin' humans out there, all's the flat-terific sooo-pplies we've received thanks ta yer undyin' genrosity and luv of us sprouts. So, without ferther ado let's git t'it dagnabit!

Our first sooo-pplies come ta us all's the ways from the oth'r sides of the cuntry. The boys thank ya kindly Deneen for sendin' us these luvly blankits. The boys jus luv 'em as ya can see!

Life is hard fer us Veggie soldiers. We don't have much time fer lovin' from wimen folk due ta bizzy schedules an all, so a warm bed and a good night's sleep has ta suffice. At least us Veggies er less cranky critters after gitting some shut-eye. *hehehe* The litt'l south er the border sprout luvs the sleepin' bag Deneen sent.

This here kind woman also sent us Veggies a backpack fer totin' more sooo-pplies...

and a beer mug thank the lordy!

I ain't Irish, but a litt'l four leaf clover luck nev'r hurt no one!

I really like this woman, Deneen, even tho' she's a yankie. Hmmm, yankie rhymes with hankie-pankie *hehehe* Um, err, okay troops, let's git movin' on. Lots ta see!

As I saids before, a litt'l shut-eye does a Veggie good. Here's my nephew tryin' out the new sleepin' bag made by Ms. Linoleum's yungun, Lena Linoleum. Even the yung, yung human sprouts are answerin' our call fer help!

Thanks yung Linoleum sprout fer yer kind contribution.

We's caught this candid shot of they's Carrots modelin' this towel after returnin' from the showers in our camp jus this mornin'. They's wasn't so happy 'bout that. I don't know why. They's walks 'round nekked most of the time anyways. Go fig'r.

This towel an more were sent ta us by our friend, The Shrone. Ms. Linoleum has explained ta me more than once what the heck a Shrone is, but my mind, being flat an all, musn't be firin' on all cylinders 'cuz I jus don't git it. Anyways, we's thanks The Shrone fer her genrous contribution. Without them towels, we'd has to air dry and dependin' 'pon the weather, that can takes up to an hour!

That there Shrone woman also sent us Veggies a coup'l of placemats 'cuz she knows we's civilized sprouts.

She also sent a special gift to my nephew.

Ain't that the right smartist cape ya ever did see?

I may have ta borrow this every now an 'gain.

Lastly, that Shrone woman sent some entertainin' sooo-pplies that'll keep the boys occupied on their nights off.

Here ya have it...A cow that shoots cowpies...A belly button flasher. Too bad nun of us veggies has belly buttons. We's gonna have to plead with Ms. Linoleum to model it fer us. Oh, an I almost fergot, there's also a metal circle filled with Shrone movies. We's really likes those movin' pictures. Can't wait to watch those! We's in needs of a night off an sum relaxation.

All in all, it's a good haul. Thanks again to all you honrary Veggies. We's salute you!

An now a message from our sponsor, Ms. Linoleum:

I also have some thank you's that need to go out.

Thank you so much to my Secret Sistah for this fantabulous array of gifties!

Yes, there is a VLA bag there!!! Awesome!!! Vegetables with attitude...LOVE IT!

PMS Chocolate, a mug adorned with cherries, soaps, eyeball candies and lots of yarn and thread (DMC is my fave)! Thanks so much Secret Sistah!!!

I also want to thank my Crochetville Autumn Pal for this wonderful selection of goodies.

Is this not the most gorgeous doily ev-ver???

I have to tell you all that I really love doilies. I know that sounds uber-wacked coming from me, but I do love them. I love the thread and the labor that goes into making them. I love the intricasy of the patterns and how each amazing stitch reminds me of my nana churning these works of art out like her hair was on fire. I just love them.

Oh, and more yarn and DMC thread. Score!

A close-up of the postcard that came with the yarn porn...

I am soooooooo very lucky. Thank you all for everything!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Spam Comments Are NOT Welcome Here!

Please do not leave any spam comments on my blog. All spam comments will be deleted immediately. I appreciate your adherence to this policy. Thank you very much.

The Management

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

New Poll / Old Poll

VLA Popularity Poll Results

It seems our lengthy orange buddies came in first with a whopping 5 votes. And don't you think our carnivorous friends deserve this honor what with their recent ordeal? Yessiree!

Poor Creepy Cebolla came in last. Our onion breath laden hero is keeping a stiff upper eyeball though. Hang in there little onion dude! At least ya got two votes!!!

New Poll

Are you tired of seeing freaky crocheted vegetables wreak havoc on the World Wide Web? Maybe a nice scarf or two sans eyeballs is what you crave? Or hey, maybe you enjoy my written musings more than anything? Yeah, right. Anyway, now is your chance to tell me what you want to see on this blog. Go vote. Now. It's your only chance! Not really, but your responses are very helpful. Thank you very much.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Evolution of the Doll - Be Mine

I've mentioned this before, but for the last two years I've collaborated with my girlfriends, fellow artists and CGU grads (mostly) on a series of projects executed in round-robin fashion. Our first project was a huge success encompassing 13 artists and 13 "sculptures" based upon the idea of a doll.

I've shown a few examples/results from this project in past posts, but thought that it might be interesting for you to see how each doll developed as the most interesting aspect of working in a round-robin structure is the process itself. So, ala Naive Knitting style (LOVE Martha's blog) I will present a new doll each week in a series of posts called Evolution of the Doll. Though, I am not nearly as organized as Martha so this series will not occur on a specified day of the week...Martha remains queen of the weekly series with LadyLinoleum bowing humbly in the presence of her amazing aesthetic and unrivaled discipline!


Objective: Each artist was charged with creating a "doll starter" or "base doll" and travel journal, which was brought to our first meeting. At said meeting the doll bases were rotated to another artist in the group. Each artist had 4-6 weeks to work on their "new doll" and document their work in the travel journal. Dolls were brought back to the next meeting for another rotation. This continued until every doll in the group was worked on by every artist in the group. No repeats. The whole process took 18 months from start to completion.

Artists Dossiers:
Jonna (aka THE ORGANIZER) - Sculptor, specializing in mechanical works and using taxidermied roadkill (no, I am not making this up) in her pieces. Jonna is also the queen of spreadsheets and kept the group on track and on schedule, and I mean on track and on schedule, NOW! Also, Jonna is one of my bestest buddies in the whole wide world.
Bea (aka THE VOICE OF REASON) - Painter, mostly abstract, likes Sharpies (a lot). Our resident VOICE OF REASON and yanker of the reigns when THE ORGANIZER was getting a bit "spreadsheet happy", Bea is my other bestest buddy in the whole wide world.
Laurel - Amazing sculptor and educator. Need the Venus of Willendorf done up in Playboy Bunny ears and tail? Laurel's your gal! Laurel also shares our (Bea and myself) penchant for anything Johnny Depp. I'm just saying.
Stevie - Painter. This woman can do things with paint you never thought possible.
Stephanie - Garden Designer, sculptor and resident hipster. Not only can she turn your average slab of sod into a work of art, but she can manage to attend 5-7 parties seamlessly on any given night without succumbing to exhaustion. Now this my friends, IS talent.
Dyane - In a word, nuts. Not really, but her work is totally out there. Dyane is a painter and has been known to destroy helpless stuffed animals in the name of art every now and again.
Stacy - Ceramicist. Stacy is a wonderfully talented craftswoman. Her work is truly a gift to behold. She now lives in Hawaii and we all miss her contribution and companionship greatly!
Janet - Glass artist. Janet is a true find and worked herself into this "old girl's club" like a pro.
Young An (aka Master of Connections) - Painter and curator who always wears high heels. It's amazing really. She paints, she curates exhibitions left and right and she can whip up a mean Korean barbecue all on 3" heels. How does she do it? In-soles.
Bee - Fiber, collage artist and educator. Bee is a wonderful craftswoman and resource. I owe much of my knowledge of fiber processes to her tutelage while an undergrad in college.
Corina - Another amazing painter and curator!
Magdalena - A young artist who is quite simply a creative genius AND my daughter. Chip off the ole' block!
LadyLinoleum - 'Nuff said.

Now, onto the main event - Dolls! Thirteen fabulous, oftentimes humorous, at times ambiguous, strange and frightening, magical and thoughtful, outrageous, varied, calm, undone, overdone, no holds barred, FUN!

Our first dee-lightful dolly is...

"Be Mine"

Base Artist: Bea

Recipe: A little vinyl, a little thread and voila! A lot of ambiguity.

Round 1: Magdalena

Recipe: Glue, glitter and googly eyes!

Round 2: Dyane

Recipe: Add teeth, bandana and you get bound and gagged ambiguity!

And don't forget the house...

Round 3: Laurel

Recipe: Nekked? Add skirt.

Round 4: Janet

Recipe: Add glasses, nose, disturbing glass ornament to ceiling of house with a dash of fluorescent lighting...What do you get? Who the heck knows!

Round 5: Stacy

Recipe: Hel-lo? The house is just a corrugated paper shack without SHINGLES!

Round 6: Yours Truly

Recipe: Add a bandit and his trusty steed. C'mon people, the poor woman doesn't own that dump!

Round 7: Bee

Recipe: Add some legs, puuuu-leeeeeze! Thank you very much. Now the poor girl can run from the scoundrel if she so chooses.

Round 8: Stephanie

Recipe: Wallpaper. Just what a scary shack in the woods needs to brighten it up a bit!

Round 9: Young An

Recipe: Okay, so scary sock monkey bandit doesn't have a green thumb. So what! Trees! Or um, err, dead trees!

Round 10: Jonna

Recipe: A grassy knoll.

Round 11: Stevie

Recipe: Year 'round x-mas lights. You've all seen 'em!

Okay people, I admit it. This doll, err, dolls are truly weird, but hang in there with me. It gets worse...muhahahaha!

And there ya have it! One down, 12 more to go...