LabLinoleum Coat

Sometimes it is easier for me to create when donning props that set the mood. One such accessory happens to be my new lab coat...





This lovely example of LinoleumLove shows off all of the anatomical embroidery I was stitchin' last fall in the form of embroidered patches. Let's see, we have the requisite eyeballs...


Oh yes, I had my name embroidered on my coat!



Lovely reddish intestines...



A multi-hued heart...



And of course, BRAAAIIINS!



I am hoping to add a few more embroidered doohickeys to this piece of wearable art along the lines of prescription drugs and syringes. You know, nothing like a border of dancing pills or syringes to make everyone smile! Move ova Nurse Jackie!

Ahem...

On a more serious note I'm thinking I should not wear this to divorce court...

All embroidery patterns EXCEPT the brain (my design) can be yours to stitch away. Just take a trip over to Sublime Stitching to purchase.

The Haps at ChezLinoleum

I am trying desperately to get back into a regular blogging rhythm. To that end, a two week silence is better than silence for two months. Anyhoo, here's the ChezLinoleum update...

Firstly I'm a blond now...



I've never been one to shy away from changing my coif. Therefore, I head to my salon each month for a redo. It's exciting to see what my girls, Roxy and Carrie, have in store for me upon plopping my arse down in the chair for a leisurely Friday evening full of laughter, conversation and hairstyling abandon!

Next do-wop is this Friday. Life's little pleasures you know.

Speaking of life's little pleasures, I'm finally able to concentrate on reading again! I generally love to read, but the events of the past several months have prevented me from doing just that. I just could not focus on the words. Needless to say my mind has been little more than sludge due to the pummeling my soon-to-be-ex-husband has been giving me. Sucks. Anyway, with HIS presence absent from my physical sphere I am able to enjoy reading again. So, I am doing just that!



I'm about 400 pages into Pillars of the Earth and I have become totally absorbed in the story, which is great because I started this tome upon embarking on my latest divorce odyssey (yes, this is number two for me) and as I said above, I've been a bit distracted because of this experience. As a result, the first 300 pages of this book were a rough ride for me. I can tell that I'm beginning to have some clarity again by virtue of the fact that I'm feeling totally at home in this epic adventure.

Oh, but wait, there's more!

I am also listening to the audio book Eat, Pray, Love while toiling away at the office (and when not in meetings of course).



Now, I have to tell you all that I resisted this book for some time. First and foremost, everyone I know told me that this was a must read for me. You know, you're hurting Regina. So, be at one with someone else's torturous experiences and find comfort in her ability to have gotten through her tough stuff. Whatever. I'm not into the self-help thing I told them en masse. No, no, not self-help, we swear. Okay. Fine. I'll read the f-ing thing. Cool yer jets.

Let me tell you peeps, am I getting more out of this book than I ever could have imagined. It's a lovely memoir about fragility and strength, truth and consequences, discovery and fear, love and loss, pain and solace...in short I am loving this read (or listen as the case my be). I also am really enjoying the fact that Elizabeth Gilbert is the reader in the audio version, as it should be as far as I'm concerned.

Finally, I am working my way through a third book about journey, discovery and transformation...



Nicky Epstein is one of my favorite designers. Combine her complex, interesting and sometimes quirky style with a few travel memoirs and you've got a book I'm way into! I've only just begun perusing the pages of Knitting in Tuscany, but thus far this book is a visual delight and worthy of a few bookmarked design pages to be sure.

In addition to reading, I've been thoroughly immersed in music again. I realized that over the course of my last marriage, music had begun to vanish from my life completely . You see, my mostly unemployed soon-to-be-ex-spouse was home a lot and had the television on 24/7. So, listening to music was just not an option unless I walked around with my iPod attached to my waist, earbuds affixed, the resulting anti-social behavior becoming the norm. Not wanting this to occur for fear of reprisal, I just stopped listening to music (unless of course I was in my car for the 2.5 mile commute to and from the office each day). Yeah, now? I throw my iPod into the speaker dock each morning and sing my way to a finished face and coiffed do. It is heavenly.

I have very eclectic musical tastes ranging from R&B and rap to alternative to classical to world music. I am HEAVY into the world music thing. Lately my worldly bent tends toward eastern rhythms. Lots of Indian classical stuff as well as the not so classical, traditional and not so traditional Arabic music with a bit of Tibetan singing bowls thrown in for good measure. Love this stuff.

My daughter and I have been known to whittle away the evening hours sharing songs with one another via our dueling Macbooks. She thinks my music is "weird" and/or "sad", oftentimes urging me to add more Notorious BIG to my library. Needless to say, I have a good selection of Biggie Smalls since the onset of our musical sharing sessions. Got to love the teen peeps.

So let's see...reading again. Check. Groovin' to the tunes. Double check. Stepping up the work out regimen and taking care of the old (and I mean old as I hit the ole 4-0 this year) bod. Check, check, check! Oh yes, taking care of my weary mind goes hand in hand with taking care of the body. As such, I rehired my trainer the minute ye ex-spouse left the building. The dude is at my house two nights per week where he proceeds to kick my ass, thank you very much, and I try to hit the gym the nights I am not with trainer dude, Jerry.

Lastly, when not coiffing, reading, singing along or working through 58 sun salutations in a row I've been designing. Here are my latest and greatest stuffed wonders for Crochet Today mag...

Crabius Gigantius!



And a couple of shell pillows...



Even though it's been difficult to focus, I've tried to maintain my design regimen. No small feat, but well worth the effort in the end. Um, that last statement works for literally all of the subjects that I've covered in this post.

I feel as if I have awakened from a very long, very dark dream....

One Skein Goodness

Firstly, from the inner recesses of my heart and soul, thank you all for your lovely supportive comments to my last post. You have no idea how much your well wishes mean to me. You guys are great and I will try my damnedest to keep on writing despite my current tumult.

HUGE XO's all around!

So, even though I was silent for the past few months, my hands never ceased to move. Sure, I've had a bit of trouble in the design department simply because my brain power has been focused elsewhere, as you can imagine, but my addiction to all things fiber held steady nonetheless. As a result, I've been knitting and crocheting OPP's (other people's patterns) during my period of silence, which is definitely a good thing because I tend to learn a lot about other's design processes and construction techniques when working through said projects. Inspiration for later application to be sure.

Anyway, one such inspired and fast knit recently completed is the One Skein A Stole by Katja Jordan. The pattern calls for one skein of Noro Kureyon Sock Yarn to create the netted beauty below...



Got to love those Noro colorways. Makes simple projects such as this a pleasure to knit up...



I will be giving this to a friend who turned fabulously 40 two weeks before I did during the month of Taurus. She's not a knitter, but I'm hoping she'll enjoy this nonetheless. Good things come in small packages you know...



More FO's to come!

Back in Bat

Hello?

Still there?

Well, if there is anyone out there who is still remotely interested in my little green bloggy, I'm attempting to make contact...

I know, it's been a while.

I just couldn't bring myself to type into this window for the last few months...

My life, my world, had been thrust from it's axis and sent spinning wildly from it's orbit. Needless to say, it has been a really rough ride, the sheer g-forces propelling events in various tangential directions rendered me virtually deaf and dumb for a time. As a result I buckled up, braced myself and hung on for dear life, attempting to get through the last few months without being ripped to shreds.

In short, my life has been excrement...buffalo chips...meadow muffins...basically poo poo courtesy of a very large animal.

Here's the 411...

My divorce has been and continues to be very contentious (I could say more here, but I'm saving it for the teleplay), quite costly and currently in stasis. I have been laboring 50-60 hours per week in order to pay for the formal demise of my marital mayhem and as a result of this epic life event, I have become a very neglectful housekeeper (seriously, the dust bunnies have planted their flag and named their new territory Watership Down) and I am a shadow of the parental unit I once was. I am finding it difficult to finish tasks, both menial and material. I wade my way Monday through Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) without enthusiasm or motivation. The bottom line? Yeah, I am deeply in debt (hey, Beverly Hills divorce attorneys claim a few pieces of eight), still not divorced (UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH) and as if these two factoids were not enough, I have a distinct possibility of losing my home (more salt in your wounds Ms. Linoleum?).

Can someone stop this ride? I'm feeling sick and I'd like to get the hell off.

Okay, I do have at least one thing in my favor...

I'm a tough old bat (don't make me put on my knitted black wings). So, I will get through this, teenager in tow. Okay, this time next year we may be living in a fridge carton off of Ocean, but I'll be happily single and the waves will drown out the sound of my adolescent's whining, so all is not lost! I wonder if all of my yarn and fabric will fit in my future mobile home? My stash might make for a comfy mattress...

My glass? Definitely half full.

Anyway peeps, I'm back and I've missed you guys (you've no idea!). I have a lot to share, both crafty as well as calamitous. So, in other words, stay tuned because this blogging catharsis has only just begun...

More Crochet Today Patterns!

Thank you everyone for all of your support and well wishes! I have felt very psychologically isolated during the last several months due to my unraveling marriage. I have kept much of my unhappiness to myself because, let's face it, most people just don't want to hear about it. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have a group of very supportive friends who love me and have provided me with many a shoulder to cry upon, but during the rest of my pretty public life I've kept my misery at bay. I debated endlessly as to whether I even say anything about my current plight on my blog. This is a craft blog after all. However, I do feel a sense of relief by sharing this news with you all and it means so much to me to know that you all are in my corner. So, thank you again from the depths of my soul. You all are amazing!

Despite my marital mess, I do still try to tackle a few design projects here and there. So, without further ado here are my latest and greatest projects for Crochet Today mag...



ABC and 123 appliques to adorn just about anything in your child's room! Definitely a quick, easy and versatile crochet project. I actually think that they'd be splendid strewn atop a baby's blanket.

Next up, a colorful cushion...



Don't ask me how I became the crochet maven of home accessories!

It's weird to be sure.

Anyway, I am very fond of this rippling, flowery wonder. It's purty, right? And isn't it good to know that I haven't completely lost my design ability during these trying times? In fact, once I have a moment to process my latest and greatest marital dissolution, be prepared for the ever so slightly twisted crochet design-o-rama that is sure to result from my experience.

Ahem...

Anyway, I'll leave you with a quote from the wall calendar hanging in my office that has a particular resonance for me as of late, "Divorce is expensive, but freedom is priceless."

My First Quilt

I apologize for my silence (again) peeps. I have been unable to write, think, concentrate...my divorce has become (as many divorces do) very contentious. I mean, I haven't even been crocheting or knitting, which is very unusual as you all know. Although, I have not been sitting idle either. Instead, I have been sewing, quilting, spinning and weaving. There is something about those four activities that doesn't require me to sacrifice a huge amount of braincells in order to create, whereas knitting and crocheting, for me, are all about the process of design. Needless to say, I just cannot wrap my brain around any sort of creative puzzle at the moment.

Don't ask me how or why I am currently capable of following quilting directions, but I can and here are the results...



Is it ironic that I just finished a quilt covered with skulls???

I know, I try to avoid being sick and twisted, but I fail time and again. Oh well, that's moi!



Other than the obvious morbidity of this pieced work, I give myself a big pat on the back for making it through the piecing, layering, quilting and binding process with relative ease. As a new quilter I was a bit incredulous that I could actually make one of these fabric masterpieces. I mean, there are lots of pieces and they have to fit together! No small feat, I can assure you. However, I prevailed and I loved the process.



Did you notice the gold quilting thread?

And do you like the Frida backing?

I know, more tortured female artist juju...Definitely a quilt of the moment for me.

Maybe my next quilt should be all about freedom...

Quilting Stats
Pattern: Around the Block
Quilting Instruction: Rebecca McClure/Sewing Arts Center
Machine: Husqvarna Viking Scandinavia 400
Fabric: Alexander Henry
Made For: My Beautiful Daughter

Yes, I am still alive...

So sorry for my silence folks. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster, simultaneously pitted with sorrow and peaked with joy. It's a bit staggering...

First, I have filed for divorce. It was a very difficult decision, but the writing has been on the wall for years. So, I finally succumbed and sent my attorney a check.

Second, the powers that be at the cube farm have decided to promote me and although my financial position doesn't change much, I am nonetheless very happy to have been recognized for my hard work.

Third, I am an now an aunt. My little sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl three weeks ago...Zoe Rose. She's a doll.

Fourth, I have been striving for some normalcy despite my personal chaos and have been crafting during every free moment possible. So, I do have lots of FOs to share.

Again, my apologies for giving you all the silent treatment. I just lost my voice for few weeks...

Kids Say The Darnedest Things...

Reason number one why I love teaching kids...they say what they think, no holds barred.

I have a Saturday afternoon knitting class filled with seven to ten year olds. This group of girls is a real treat to work with. They keep me laughing the entire time we're together and last Saturday was no exception.

One of my adult crochet students happened to be taking a lesson from me at the same time the girls were getting their knit on. As such the little people were listening intently to our adult chatter regarding getting older. In keeping with the subject matter, I mentioned that I would be turning 40 this May.

At that point, one of the girls said incredulously, "You're going to be 40???"

The rest of the girls chimed in, mirroring her disbelief.

To which I replied, "Yes, I am."

Then a barrage of statements from the peanut gallery, "You don't LOOK 40."

"You don't ACT 40."

"I don't believe you're going to be 40."

In response I asked, "Well how old do you think I am?"

The progenitor of this tangential conversation answered immediately, "16."

Her classmates in unison, "Yeah, 16!"

I immediately erupted into laughter telling them, "I love you all more than you'll ever know."

Tackling The Twinkle

After much apprehension, I finally purchased one of the Twinkle books. Don't get me wrong, I think her designs are super cute, I just don't appreciate pattern books riddled with mistakes. However, I figured her publications have been in the marketplace for quite some time at this point, therefore corrections should be easily obtained. So with that, I took the plunge and purchased her Weekend Knits book and tried my needles at the little bralet adorning the cover.



Here's my version in more LadyLinoleum appropriate colors...



I'm happy to report that I found only one mistake in the pattern and it was easy to figure out a work around. All in all, I knit this little top up in a matter of hours and was able to bust a bit of my stash in the process. Another win/win!

Adventures in Entrelac

A month or so ago, Samantha, proprietor of Abuelita's Knitting and Needlepoint, asked me if I would be willing to lead a weekend Entrelac workshop at the store. To which I replied, "Sure, no problem." This statement was then followed up with the thought...Well, I guess I better teach myself this technique! For better or for worse, my theory of teaching tends toward the last minute. Stay one step ahead of the class LadyLinoleum and you will be just fine!

At any rate, I give you my first Entrelac experimentation...



I am a huge fan of red and blue combos. Here, I used various hanks of my own homespun combined with stash yarn. Each tier represents a different ball o' yarn.



The pattern I used (and subsequently taught others how to use) is the Lady Eleanor Stole from Scarf Style. What I thought would be a difficult technique to grasp, turned out to be pretty darn straightforward. Working up a bit slowly at first, I soon got into a groove, moving from tier to tier with ease. Really, the most difficult aspect of this project was weaving in the billions of ends at the completion of the stole.

After blocking, and not wanting to deal with more strings after the weaving in ends fun fest, I opted to forgo the knotted fringe that the pattern called for in favor of a more refined crocheted braided edging.



In conclusion, it is my firm belief that Entrelac is rad.

Far beyond a chip off ye olde block...

Look at my beautiful offspring modeling the hat she knit up for her boyfriend. Oh, and did I mention that this is her first finished knitted object? I taught the young one how to knit only a few short weeks ago. Massive props for tackling a hat her first time at the needles. Speaking of needles...yep, she used dpns. Can you believe it??? That's my girl, fearless to the core!



Look at how even her stitches are! And that cute dangling pompom...



I think she did an outstanding job! I also think that she is amazing (and not just because she is my daughter) because she is always thinking outside the box, unafraid of challenges and well, let's face it, she's got mad skills. Basically, my child makes me look a hack and I have to tell you all that I'm totally okay with this...

Lena, you go girl! xoxo

My First Shirt!

Oh yes, I actually cobbled a shirt together with fabric, needle and thread!



For me, this is nothing short of amazing. Okay, it took me five weeks to make this piece of apparel in my weekly sewing class. But hey, I deserve a pat on the back for moving through this at times painful sewing experience nonetheless. However, I figured if I could master a yoke, collar, cuffs, setting in the sleeves and actually lining up my button holes, I'd be that much more the skilled seamstress! Check out the parts...







Not bad, eh? In fact, I am wearing my bee-you-ti-ful bee attire today in the office and not one person has uttered that dreaded question, "So, did you make that?"

Now, we all know this question and what evil lurks behind it. Yeah, what the inquirer really wants to ask is, "Hey, why are you even wearing that thing that looks as if it were cobbled together by a chimp on crack?"

Or, "Were you blindfolded (and on crack) while sewing that garment together?"

Or, "Let me guess, that shirt, is it? Yeah, well, whatever it is...could it have been made as a collaborative project between you and a chimp...um, while blindfolded, your brains addled by copious amounts of, um, crack, perhaps?"

Yeah, not one person has said anything remotely like the above to me today. Because of this, I'm calling this top a win/win. Yep, I learned a few new skills AND I actually made a wearable garment!

So, my top looks relatively store-bought AND the best part, aside from the stuff I mentioned prior that is...it has BUG BUTTONS!



It's all about the details peeps.

Sewing is definitely less scary after the completion of this project. Now stay tuned for my foray into quilting...

Two New Patterns!

I have two new patterns in the latest issue of Crochet Today mag! Yay!!

But before I showcase my latest designs, I wanted to give a few woefully belated props to Crochet Today magazine as I believe that this publication is THE best crochet magazine out there right now (and not just because I happen to be a frequent contributor *wink*). Really, the designs are hip, fun and have a wide appeal. I usually find more than a handful of items in every issue that I'd like to try my hook at. And let me tell you folks, that's sayin' something considering our current crafty climate is flood-ded with pattern-alia...the good, the bad and the ugly. Not that I'm not thrilled with the selection mind you! But peeps, there is a lot of blah out there! And I don't know about you, but if I'm to spend my precious moola on a compendium of patterns, I'd like there to be more than one in the lot that I'm itching to make. In short, I'd like to thank the string lord for Brett Bara and the host of talent she has corralled in each issue of Crochet Today mag which never ceases to amuse and delight!

Now, onto the patterns. First and foremost, the Sunny Shoulder Bag!

If you like working motifs and sewing 'em all together, then this be the project for you! The final product is constructed from piles of colorful hexagons, a solid rectangular bottom and wide-ish strap. It's so simple, yet really rather fun! I keep thinking that this bag would be outstanding worked up in linen for Spring...hmmm...

My second design is of the applique variety and a bony one at that!

I don't know about you all, but I think I need a T-Rex skull on the back of one of my jackets...It should probably glow in the dark too. Oh yeah...

Ahem.

Have you obtained your issue of Crochet Today yet? Well, what are you waiting for???

Knit Through It...

During the last year ChezLinoleum has been a household plagued by such predicaments as my spouse's unemployment, my own stagnant salary combined with an increase in work hours, a condominium worth less than what we paid for it and oh so much more. Although I've done my share of complaining about my family's current straights, I find that vocalizing my discontent to be less than satisfying and pretty much solution-free. So, instead of constantly kvetching I have decided to completely immerse myself in productive activities outside my regularly scheduled work regimen. Meaning, needles, hooks, wheels, looms and sewing machinery are operating daily at top speed until my eyelids need propping open with toothpicks.

The beneficiary of my current compulsion to avoid and create is grateful for the increased production levels...



Yes, that is the offspring wearing her new Silk Shrug.



This pattern is from Erika Knight's Classic Knits book. I'm a big fan of Erika Knight patterns as I think she's a wonderful designer. Her work is smart, classic and the patterns are always well written. Two thumbs up as far as I'm concerned.



Lena picked out Kraemer Silk and Silver yarn in Heavenly Blue for this little sweater and I think she made a wonderful choice. Looks great on her!

Now that I've finished this delightful knit, I will be starting work on one of the cardigans in the same book. The next one is for me!

I am determined to knit (crochet, spin, weave and sew) my way through this difficult time...Call it coping or call it avoidance. All I know is that busy hands quell my worry. Now there's a solution!

Seams Difficult

LittleLinoleum benefited from my new found seamstress abilities (yeah, right) this weekend. I fashioned a pair of PJ pants for her in a festive cupcake print.



Lena was so cute, putting them on immediately upon completion. Thankfully, she didn't see all of my mistakes!

I'm telling you all, sewing continues to be a vast frontier for me. Pattern directions that are seemingly simple upon first inspection always prove to be just a wee bit above my head when the project is underway. Peeps, I struggle with even the most simple of sewing processes (i.e., buttonholes are never in a straight line, turning corners inside out gives me a run for my money and let's not even talk about sewing evenly around zippers). My fellow tailors and seamstresses, will this ever change or am I destined for perpetual sewing reform school?

I sure hope I can overcome my sewing issues because I recently invested in one of these...

Crazy Batt Diamond Shawl

Here's another example of one of my woven diamond shawls. This version, however, was woven entirely from my homespun, which in turn, was spun up from some of my crazy carded batts, a technique I learned from Lexi Boeger at Camp Pluckyfluff last fall. Each diamond is a little different (or a lot different, depending upon your viewpoint) and I have to admit, upon first arrangement of the diamonds into their final shawl form, I thought the project looked a little too nutty even for me! Nonetheless, I threw caution to the wind and proceeded anyway. I am nothing if not a taker of risks.



I put everything and the kitchen sink into those batts. There is leftover yarn, old Christmas tinsel, fabric, wads of knotted thread...The batts were nutty to be sure. However, the whole lot of diamonds seem to be pulled together by the black crocheted borders...whew!

Definitely a fun project that worked up fairly quickly.

Project Stats
Loom: Hazel Rose 12" Diamond Loom
Wheel: Lendrum DT (purchased at Paradise Fibers)
Drum Carder: Louet 8" Standard Carder (purchased at Village Spinning and Weaving)
Yarn: LadyLinoleum's Schizophrenic Homespun & Brown Sheep Lanaloft in black

Are you getting the feeling that my house looks like some weird fiber sweat shop???

Copyright 2009 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

Weaving 101

I finally had a chance to road-test my Ashford Knitter's Loom only a year after having received it as a Christmas gift. Jeesh. Anyway, weaving on my new toy brought forth memories of my floor loom days, only on a smaller scale and sans the eight harnesses, warping board, etc. Yep, this loom is easy peasy to use, warping directly onto the loom itself. Neato, let me tell you as I always found dressing a biggie floor loom to be a bit tedious.

Within an hour of beginning I had the Ashford dressed with some worsted weight wool and ready to weave! Check it out...





The weft is some of my hand-dyed looped wool, which I space-dyed last summer in subtle blues and greens. I bought the nekked yarn at Art Fibers in San Francisco on one of my northerly jaunts up the coast.

I didn't get fancy with the weave. It's just plain (over 1, under 1), but I think it looks quite nice nonetheless.



Throwing my shuttle to and fro I finished the 8 x 108" scarf in an afternoon. Not a bad way to whittle away the hours as far as I'm concerned!



I see some serious woven stash busters in my future...

Happy Birthday Lena!

It was 16 years ago today that I gave birth to my wonderfully intelligent and beautiful daughter. I couldn't have hoped for a more loving, loyal, talented, silly, smart and exasperating young creature to have taken charge of my life. She is truly the most magnificent creation I've ever made. Please join me in wishing my lovely little girl a joyous birthday!

I love you Lena more than you'll ever know.

Git Yer Pie Patterns!

I just finished writing up the patterns for the Pie-rets AND the Fruit Tart Fascinator! Now peeps everywhere can wear their pies (and tarts) as well as eat them!

I have put all three crochet Pie-ret patterns in the pack...Pecan, Lattice Crust and Pumpkin! As a bonus I added the Fruit Tart Fascinator for those so inclined. That's four fab patterns in one! Never too early to get started on your holiday gifties...

Pattern is available on my sidebar. Let's hear it for woolen pie!

Um, yeah.