Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Vegionics

In our last episode we left LadyLinoleum in the waiting room at the Super-Secret Westbury Vegetable Clinic, distraught and desperately waiting to hear from Dr. Manuel Mangoes regarding the outcome of the reconstructive surgeries being performed on her severely injured Veggie buddies, Carnivorous Carrots and Roadkill Korn...

Scene 3: Super-Secret Westbury Vegetable Clinic Recovery Room



Dr. Manuel Mangoes: Well as you can see, your friends were in good stems with me! Only a genius such as myself...

*Experimento bubbles loudly*

ahem, yes, assisted by the very capable, Experimento, could have saved your friends. And as you may have already guessed I've not just merely saved your friends lives, I have improved them! Roadkill Korn and Carnivorous Carrots are now Vegionic!

Killer Korn: Excuse me Doctor. I am not familiar with the term Vegionic. What does that mean?

Dr. Manuel Mangoes: Well, I don't want to confuse your feeble fibrous minds with a long treatise on the scientific method used to constitute Vegionics. You know, it's a very complex process that utilizes the chemohydroponicalsymbiosis theory to produce the resulting...

Killer Korn: DOCTOR, I'm sure that my feeble fibrous mind would feel much more at ease if you would just GET TO THE POINT. What have you done to our soldiers?

Dr. Manuel Mangoes: ahem...I beg your pardon sir. Suffice it to say, that I...

*Experimento begins to bubble loudly and fervently*

...with the assistance of Experimento, was able to rebuild your comrades giving each injured Vegetable Vegionic UberVision.

Killer Korn: And what the hell is that?

Dr. Manuel Mangoes: I am getting to that Mr. Korn, if you'd just allow me some latitude to continue with my explanation and dispense with the interruptions I will proceed...Thank you. UberVision is SUPER VEGETABLE VISION.

These Vegetables were brought into this clinic having three viewing instruments collectively destroyed. Before their arrival, I was about to begin searching for subjects to test some of my new Vegionic theories. To my luck and yours, LadyLinoleum was knocking at my door, two, I mean three Vegionic recipients ready for rehab!

I went to work at once engineering two new viewing instruments for Carnivorous Carrots. One of which looks much like the eyeball he had before the tragedy. Watching two consecutive seasons of Nip/Tuck on DVD has served me well...I digress...



The other viewing instrument or eyeball is special. It illustrates the depth and breadth of UberVision quite nicely. Take a look...



Notice the red pupil? That's actually a laser. Not only does it make a terrific pointer, but it will cut through steel. The green iris and veins? That my friends is built-in night-vision! Have a midnight mission at a darkened local supermarket? Have no fear, send in the Carrots first! They can do a little reconnaissance and let you all know if the coast is clear, so to speak.

VLA (collectively): oooooooh...aaaaaaah...

Killer Korn: And my Uncle? What's up with his eyeball?

Dr. Manuel Mangoes: Ahhh yes, your Uncle. In his case, he only had one viewing instrument to begin with. So, I knew that I needed to try and reconstruct what he had before, if only for aesthetics you see. Now there's a story in an of itself! It involves a construction site and a steamroller, oh, and some jumper cables...ha, ha, ha, it's amazing Experimento's beaker remains unscathed! Ahhh, science is so much fun!

*Killer Korn folds his husks and begins to steam*

Yes, well, you get the point...though his newly reconstructed viewing instrument is functional as well as fabulous, he needed a bit of UberVision too. Your Uncle is now the proud owner of interchangeable eyeballs! One flat and fab!



The other infrared, which is actually a sleeve that fits right over his existing eyeball for instantaneous UberVision!



VLA (collectively): ooooooh...ahhhhhhh...

Killer Korn: Well, I have to admit Doctor, you've done right by our Vegetable comrades. When can they come back to the Hideout? We have to start looking for the nefarious perpetrator of this heinous act!

Dr. Manuel Mangoes: Your friends will be able to go home in a few weeks. In the meantime, there are some wonderful articles about me in the waiting room that you are welcome to peruse. I'll send Experimento out for Starbucks...

Killer Korn: Ah no Doctor, thank you, but we have to be going right away. LadyLinoleum is expecting an update.

The VLA file out the recovery room in order to get back to the Hideout, deftly avoiding having to read articles about Dr. Mangoes in the waiting room, to plan their next move.

Scene 4: Vegetable Sting Unit Headquarters

Slim: Stout, this just came in over the wire.

*Slim hands Stout a printout*

Stout: Hmmmm, interesting. Okay, assemble the team. Let's get going.

To be continued...

Special thank you to Jessica for the VLA furnishings!

Copyright 2005 Regina Rioux Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

13 comments:

Noo said...

Carnivorous carrot wants to be careful with that laser-pointing/shooting eye gadget. Make sure he checks that he's in the right "mode" when giving lectures...

Kari said...

laser eyes... hmmm... whole new meaning to "You'll shoot your eye out"

MomThatsNuts said...

I been saying it for months...you talented crazy girl...I will never look at a carrot the same way again...

mom

PBnJ said...

hahahah this is just silly and wonderful. you're mad with the talent, hahaha. i _love_ the green laser eye! *hugs*

Kimberly said...

What are Slim andStout up to? Who was it that tried to do the veggies in? The unanswered questions are tormenting me, ruining my sleep, preventing me from concentrating at work....

Anywho - great job once again! Loooove the new eyes!!

Jane said...

I just love the group photo - not quite like my doctor's surgey, which has some oddballs in there, but a hell of a lot more interesting. What do the veg read while in recovery - I can't see the obligatory ten year old Cosmopolitans.

Ro said...

I'm madly in love with Experimento.

I may have to write him explicitly passionate poetry.

You've been warned.

ladylinoleum said...

Glad you guys are entertained! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be writing this kind of stuff...LOL

Jane, I have to give the Veggie reading material some thought. That's a very good question.

Ro, you're funny! Experimento's kinda sci fi. That's probably why you love him so.

Noo, Kari, PBNJ & Kimberly, glad you guys like the new eyes. I was worried after the destruction that I was just going to muck them up further. Now I feel like I made the right choice taking them in a different direction and not doing more of the same.

Mom, yep I am a little "off" that's fer sure.

Kimberly again, just you wait to see who dunnit!

CraftyCritter said...

Ummmm Regina...you're like mean and stuff! HOW MUCH CAN WE TAKE?
Cliffhanger after cliffhanger, OY!

I don't know who's wackier. you for writing this stuff or us, your adoring, even though slightly insane, fans for following your madness!!!

Granny said...

Wonderful.

MX said...

Very good, I love it!

MX

Jessi said...

ooohhhh....ubervision...red laser vision...it all rocks! Lol. Can't wait to see the next scene.

rodentia said...

sigh...I never really trusted carrots, and now that they have laser beam eyes I fear that my distrust was warranted.

Do you think perhaps you could crochet me a set of googly eyes to make it look like I'm awake while being trained in my new job? I keep falling asleep every time the overhead projector goes on. I'll even take some laser beam eyes...I could put them to excellent use on the bus in the morning.