I Wanna Be "B"

I am often asked how I am able to design and complete such a large number of projects on a weekly, monthly, yearly basis while simultaneously gainfully employed (40+ hours a week) on a management team of a major investment banking practice and playing the role of wife and mother to boot. Well my friends, I am your classic example of a Type A personality, a state of being in which I used to take much pride. Really, until about six months ago, I considered myself to be a bit like Wonder Woman…uh, without the satin one-piece. Red boots and cape…check.

Really though, I thought I could achieve anything (cube farm promotions, future design empire…seriously what can I NOT do?), endure everything (deaths, husband out of work…pish posh), with time to spare and money in my pocket. Yep, I think the term “deluded” fits my past perceptions of self quite nicely, thank you very much. What was the Windex on the rag that wiped my lens-turned-inward clean for the first time, well, ever?

A trip to the doctor. A trip to the doctor which indicated that my blood pressure is high. I mean, dangerously high.

Needless to say my high horse was immediately cut down to size. Um yeah, like pony-size.

How could I have high blood pressure? I’m only 37 years old. I eat a relatively healthy diet. Okay, for the last few years I haven’t exercised at all. Hey, I’ve been crocheting and knitting and blogging, what can I say? Did I mention that I am Linda Carter incarnate? I’ve got the boots and cape to prove it.

Apparently, these arguments did nothing to sway the cuff, nor my doctor’s mind. I have high blood pressure and according to both, I need to make aggressive life style changes combined with medication to get my hypertension under control.

I just don’t remember watching Linda Carter down her daily BP meds at the beginning of every Wonder Woman episode. This sucks.

After a plethora of imaginary angina attacks (really though, they seemed real at the time) and a lot (read: overkill) of feeling sorry for myself, I got on a regimen of meds, kicked meat (not the crocheted kind, don’t you worry your pretty little heads) in favor of a vegetarian diet with sodium at a low and yes, I hired a personal trainer (I know, totally bourgeois…whatever) in an attempt to remake my life and my priorities while simultaneously regaining my cardiac health. An early exit just isn’t in the cards for me peeps. I’ve got too much to crochet and knit after all. Not to mention the fact that I have a daughter, husband, mother and siblings who need me.

At any rate, the training sessions began last night and one of the primary reasons I hired my particular personal trainer dude, is that in addition to teaching everything martial arts he says he’ll also teach me to relax my mind as well as my body with a discipline (yes, that's a Type A word...give me a break) of yoga, tai chi and guided meditation.

Relaxation? What the hell is that?

Believe you me, relaxation is a foreign concept to me. I am a little high-strung after all and learning how to ignore time, take it easy and just breathe, for goodness sake, is really difficult for me! However, I’m willing to give it a try. If I want to be around for the long haul, I have to make the effort.

So, dear readers, let me now ask for your patience and understanding. In an effort to slow myself down a bit I may not leave a comment on your blog for a while. Doesn’t mean I’m not visiting. If you’ve sent me an email and you haven’t received a response from me, just send me a little virtual nudge. I am slower than molasses with regard to writing up my patterns…have no fear, this shouldn’t get any slower. I don’t know that all of this required relaxation will stunt my creative process and turn my blog to blah-g, but I’m hoping it won’t. Is that even possible? I don’t know.

Can I just go back to Type A mode for a sec?

Okay. Life changes are a bitch!

Back to happy healthy mode.

*Comforting, soothing music begins to play.*

I’m a little scared, a lot motivated and my vision is becoming clear…there’s definitely something to be said for coming in second place.